Headlines Served With Humor You Didn’t Know You Needed

"Daily news retold with gentle confusion, clean humor, and everyday absurdity that makes reality surprisingly funny."

Knife attack during Kurdish protest in Antwerp: six injured, four suspects arrested

You ever see a protest and you think, "Man, that seems like a lot." And then you see something happen. And everybody's surprised. Now, why are we surprised? I don't know. You gather up a bunch of people, it feels like a lot could happen. And then the police have to get involved and figure out what happened. I don't know. I just think I would stay home. Seems like a lot to go through just to make a point.

2026-01-22 23:04

Elon Musk is preparing the mega IPO of his SpaceX rockets

Je me demande, vous savez, quelle est la prochaine étape aprÚs avoir installé un data center dans l'espace. Est-ce qu'ils vont avoir des réunions de direction en apesanteur ? 'Okay, nous devons discuter du quatriÚme trimestre... et nous allons le faire tout en flottant.' Et je me demande, combien ça coûte de mettre un data center dans l'espace ? Est-ce qu'ils vont avoir à embaucher des astronautes pour faire les mises à jour logicielles ? 'Hey, nous avons un problÚme avec le serveur, pouvez-vous juste vous rendre sur Mars et le redémarrer ?' 800 milliards de dollars, c'est beaucoup d'argent. Je suppose que c'est le prix à payer pour avoir des intelligences artificielles qui peuvent nous aider à résoudre nos problÚmes... ou nous détruire, je ne sais pas.

2026-01-22 23:04

Volodymyr Zelensky announces an agreement with Donald Trump on security guarantees for Ukraine

They got this "delicate question" about the eastern territories. The president says it hasn't been resolved. So now they're going to have these "trilateral discussions." And they think those discussions are going to "clarify the variations." It seems like maybe they need to figure out what the variations are first. I don't know, it just feels like if you haven't solved it, you probably have a lot of variations.

2026-01-22 22:33

Mexico transfers narcotics traffickers back to US justice

They just handed over 37 criminals. From Mexico. To the US. Thirty-seven. Just on January 20th. That feels very specific. Like, why not 30? Or 40? Why 37? That’s a lot of paperwork. And they said that brings the total up to 92 for the year. Ninety-two criminals. You ever try to keep track of 92 anything? We’re just, like, collecting them now. It’s almost like they found them in a storage unit. “Oh yeah, we forgot about these guys. Here you go.”

2026-01-22 21:07

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Zelensky says he has an agreement with Trump on security guarantees for Ukraine, but the issue of eastern territories is not yet resolved

Vous savez, j'ai entendu dire que le prĂ©sident ukrainien est allĂ© Ă  Davos. Je ne sais pas vraiment ce qui se passe Ă  Davos, mais j'imagine que c'est un peu comme une grande confĂ©rence, oĂč tout le monde se rĂ©unit pour discuter de choses importantes. Donc, il Ă©tait lĂ -bas et il a rencontrĂ© le prĂ©sident amĂ©ricain, ce qui est plutĂŽt cool, je suppose. Mais avant cela, il a dit quelque chose de drĂŽle. Il a dit que l'Europe est un peu... comment dire... dĂ©sorganisĂ©e. Et qu'ils n'ont pas vraiment envie de faire quelque chose Ă  propos de la Russie. Je ne sais pas, peut-ĂȘtre que c'est juste moi, mais je trouve ça un peu Ă©trange. Je veux dire, si quelqu'un me dĂ©range, je veux gĂ©nĂ©ralement faire quelque chose Ă  ce sujet. Mais je suppose que les choses sont un peu plus compliquĂ©es lorsque vous ĂȘtes un pays. En tout cas, c'est ce qui s'est passĂ© Ă  Davos, apparemment.

2026-01-22 21:07

Donald Trump unveils his plan for a new Gaza

You know, I was reading about this thing where Donald Trump wants to, uh, fix up the Gaza Strip. Like, a big renovation project or something. And I'm thinking, 'Three years, that's a tight deadline.' I mean, I've been trying to get my wife to let me build a shed in our backyard for years, and that's still not happening. So, I don't know, maybe he's got a good contractor or something.

2026-01-22 21:07

In Gaza, three Palestinian journalists struck by Israeli fire

So you got three guys. They finished up their shift at work. For an NGO. The job's done. They're packing up the equipment, right? All the footage is in the can. And then they get hit. And here’s the thing—they had a ceasefire. A ceasefire means you stop fighting. That’s why you call it that. It’s right there in the name. But apparently, in this particular case, a ceasefire means you can just keep going. It's like a speed limit sign that says "55," but everybody's going 80, and the cops just give you a thumbs up. What's the point of signing the paper if we’re just gonna do whatever we want anyway? I thought the rule was: when you sign it, you stop. But I guess not. It just adds to the list of things I don't understand about how the world works.

2026-01-22 20:02

In Canada, Mark Carney's speech in Davos outlines a new national doctrine

You know, I was reading about the Canadian prime minister, and apparently, he said some stuff at this big economic meeting in Davos that's got everyone in Canada all excited. I guess he's a little frustrated with the US, and who can blame him, right? I mean, have you tried to order food from a different country? It's like, 'You want to add what to your burger?' But anyway, the prime minister wants to start a team of, like, medium-sized countries to work together. I'm not sure what that looks like, but I'm imagining a big game of dodgeball, and we're all just trying to avoid getting hit by the big kids.

2026-01-22 20:02

A Filipino journalist sentenced to twelve years in prison

I guess there's this woman, Frenchie Mae Cumpio, who got hit with twelve years minimum. They said she funded a communist rebellion. I don't know what that looks like. I guess you just write a check and hope for the best? But then a group called Reporters Without Borders—which sounds official—came out and said the whole thing was manipulation. So, I don't know. Did she fund it, or was she manipulated? It’s hard to keep up with all the specifics. It seems like a lot to ask of a person on a Tuesday.

2026-01-22 19:34

A Detroit, Donald Trump insults his own

So I guess President Trump went to Detroit. He was visiting the Ford plant, which I guess is the big factory there. And a worker came up to him and asked him about the Epstein thing. And Trump gave him the middle finger. Which, I don't know. That's just so confusing. I didn't realize that was an option for a politician visiting a factory. I thought maybe they just wave or they point at things. The middle finger usually means, "Get out of my lane." You don't usually see it when they're posing for pictures. It seems like a lot was going on that day. A bunch of people in Detroit actually voted for him, but they were all protesting his policies. And they were holding a tribute for this woman, Renee Good, who got killed by immigration police. It just seems like... a very stressful day to be visiting a car factory. A lot going on.

2026-01-22 18:36

Can Donald Trump do that How the President of the United States tests the law

He just... he goes out there every day. He just takes a little nudge, sees what happens. Like, "Oh, okay, that didn't break anything." Then the next day, same thing. Just keeps seeing how far you can push a thing before it eventually pushes back. It’s like, "Are we supposed to stop him? I don't know. Nobody else is stopping him. Maybe I just missed the signal."

2026-01-22 18:05

Volodymyr Zelensky in Davos: documents to end the war are almost ready

I saw a headline where the Ukrainian President was talking about Europe. He said they had a "lack of political will" when it comes to Trump and Putin. I don't know what "political will" is, exactly. But it just sounds like Europe is looking at these two guys and going, "Yeah, I'm gonna stay in the car. You guys go ahead without me." It feels like they're just hoping nobody sees them hiding.

2026-01-22 18:05

LIVE, Greenland: Nobody else is authorized to make agreements regarding the island, says Greenlandic prime minister

So, they had this meeting, Trump and the NATO guy. They came out and said they made a deal where Trump agreed to not annex this place. And then right after that, the NATO guy says, "Just to be clear, the sovereignty of that place is a 'red line' for us." I just... I don't understand the timing. We just agreed to it. Why are we talking about the red line *after* the agreement? It feels like we just finished the negotiation, shook hands, and then immediately went back to threatening each other. I don't know how you're supposed to continue "a peaceful dialogue" after you make a red line about the deal you just made.

2026-01-22 18:05

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Volodymyr Zelensky criticizes a fragmented Europe for its lack of political will regarding Russia

The Ukrainian president, he was at this summit in Davos. He met with Trump, and he described the conversation as "not simple." Which, I mean, that's a very diplomatic way to put it, isn't it? "Not simple." But then he said the documents for the peace agreement are "almost ready." Now, hold on. If the conversation wasn't simple, how are we "almost ready"? I don't think "not simple" and "almost ready" belong together. That sounds like you're trying to put together something from IKEA, and you're missing a screw, but you're saying it's almost finished. It's not. It’s a box of parts.

2026-01-22 17:40

Brave1, Ukraine's online armory that supplies its troops in the field, an efficient platform but one that shows its limitations

So, they got this new tool for the military over in Ukraine. It's designed to help them out, because Russia has so much stuff and so many people. The tool's whole purpose is just to let them get supplies fast. But here’s the thing I don't understand about these kinds of ideas. It says that it risks hitting a "technical ceiling." I don't know why you would build something and decide ahead of time that you’re going to hit a ceiling. It's like saying, "We're going to create a system, and we're going to make sure it's only *pretty good*." I guess you just hope it's not a low ceiling.

2026-01-22 17:39

Train accident in Spain: 2 new bodies found, death toll rises to 45

You know, I was reading about this thing that happened in Adamuz, Andalusia, and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Apparently, there was some kind of collision on Sunday night, and I guess it was pretty bad. The police got 45 missing person reports after it happened, which is just... a lot. I mean, that's a whole bunch of people who are, you know, not where they're supposed to be. And now they're thinking maybe 45 people didn't make it, which is just... wow. I don't know, it's just one of those things that makes you go, "Huh, I hope that's not a thing that happens often."

2026-01-22 17:04

Russia: killer of General Igor Kirillov sentenced to life imprisonment

I don't know why this gets me, but I read about a general in Moscow. A high-up guy. And a court convicted somebody for blowing him up. Now, a general... you picture a big operation. You picture a big, high-tech attack, right? But no. The guy who did it used one of those electric scooters. I don't know. You're a general. You've got all these defenses, all this training. And then a scooter just rolls up and gets you. It feels almost... disrespectful.

2026-01-22 16:40

In Turkey to flee repression, Iranians testify to the bloodbath in their country

I heard about this thing happening where people are just leaving. I mean, they're not packing up a bunch of stuff. They're just like, "You know what? I think we’re gonna go to the next country over. It’s probably a good time to visit." It sounds like it got pretty rough over there. Real rough. Like, "we should probably pack up some sandwiches and just leave now" rough. I can't imagine how bad things have to get before you decide, "Well, I guess we’re just moving to the next country." That's a huge commitment. I have trouble just going to a new grocery store.

2026-01-22 16:40

Rifaat Al-Assad, figure of the bloody repression of the 1980s in Syria, died

I guess his brother was running the whole thing, right? And this guy, he just wanted that job for a long, long time. He spent a decade waiting around. He waited 88 years for the promotion. And then he died. I mean, that's just a long time to wait for a job that never actually opens up. I don't know why you'd do that.

2026-01-22 16:40

The rise of the far right exacerbates Latin America's divisions

Countries are fighting again. I guess this time it's about "international law" and "territory." International law. I don't even know what that is. Is that like when you're at the grocery store and you get in the express lane with fifteen items? You know you're breaking the rule, but you're just hoping nobody sees you. This whole thing sounds like arguing over who gets to keep the extra pizza box when there's only one slice left. It's a lot of noise for something that should just be settled.

2026-01-22 16:39

In Georgia, the regime is conducting an internal purge

So there’s this guy, Bidzina Ivanishvili. He's over in one of those countries where you have to hold your breath to say the name. He’s the leader, but unofficially. First thing he did was get rid of all the opposition. Which, you know, makes sense. They’re called the opposition. You got to expect a certain level of pushback if you’re trying to be in charge. But here’s where I get confused. After he cleared out all the people who disagreed with him, he started arresting his *allies*. The people who helped him get rid of the opposition in the first place. Why? It doesn’t seem very smart. It’s like, you finally get everyone to leave the party, and then you start tackling the people who brought the snacks. You’re just going to run out of friends.

2026-01-22 15:36

Colombia imposes 30 percent customs duties on Ecuador and temporarily suspends energy sales

So Ecuador and Colombia, they’re having a trade war now. I guess that’s what we’re calling it. It’s just
 Ecuador decided to put new fees on Colombia’s oil, specifically the oil that’s going through Ecuador’s pipeline. I don't know how that works. Like, are they mad at each other, so they're making it complicated? It's like when you're mad at your brother and he’s using your charger, and you just unplug it. But instead of unplugging it, you start billing him for the electricity. I don't know. A trade war sounds expensive.

2026-01-22 15:35

LIVE, Davos: It is unacceptable to try to give away our country to others, says a minister of Greenland

Vous savez, j'ai entendu dire que le Groenland ne veut pas ĂȘtre vendu. Comme si c'Ă©tait une maison ou quelque chose. "Non, nous ne vendons pas, nous venons juste de repeindre." Le vice-premier ministre groenlandais, Mute Egede, a simplement dit : "Non, nous ne sommes pas Ă  vendre." Je suppose que c'est comme si quelqu'un venait chez moi et disait : "HĂ©, je veux acheter ta maison", et que je rĂ©pondais : "Non, je viens juste de nettoyer le garage." C'est un peu comme ça, je pense.

2026-01-22 14:36

VIDEO What is Donald Trump's peace plan

You know, I was reading about this thing the other day, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Apparently, there's this organization that was started by Donald Trump, and it's like a rival to the UN. I mean, I'm not really sure what to make of it. It's like, didn't we already have a team? You know, the UN? It's like, the Avengers, but for countries. And now, we're just gonna start our own team? Like, a spin-off? And the people in charge of this new team, they're all friends with the president, which is... interesting. I don't know, maybe that's how it works in other countries, but it seems kinda like if I started a fantasy football league and I just picked all my buddies to be the commissioners. I mean, I'm not saying it's a bad idea, I'm just saying it's... different. Anyway, if you wanna learn more about it, there's a video that explains it all. But honestly, I'm still kinda confused. Maybe you can watch it and then explain it to me, because I'm just not getting it.

2026-01-22 14:36

In Spain, a commuter train hits a crane, several minor injuries

I don't know what's going on with trains in Spain. I saw this story where a crane hit a train. A commuter train. It wasn't even the train's fault, apparently. The crane just... hit it. And they specified it was an "exterior" crane. I guess we're supposed to assume the interior cranes are behaving themselves. This keeps happening, too. It sounds like a tough place to operate a train.

2026-01-22 14:03

Mercosur: the European Parliament rejects a no-confidence motion against Ursula von der Leyen

They had a vote on this European Commission thing. A censure motion. 390 votes against it, 165 for it. Plus ten abstentions. When I see those numbers, I just assume everybody's confused. It seems like a lot of work to just have a bunch of people show up and disagree. I don't know what a censure motion is, but I know that 390 sounds like a lot of people to have against something. It feels like we should just try to get along.

2026-01-22 13:32

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Volodymyr Zelensky in Davos to meet Donald Trump starting at 1 pm

So, I guess Putin announced he’s gonna meet with a couple of guys from America about this whole war situation. He’s meeting with a "special envoy," which sounds like a real job, like he probably has a nice suit and knows what he’s doing. And then he’s also meeting with the president's son-in-law. I don't know. It just seems weird to bring a son-in-law to a serious war meeting. It’s like when you're moving a couch and you need someone to hold the other end, and you just grab whoever’s standing there. “Hey, put down that iced tea. We need you to go discuss a war. Just don't drop it.” I guess we’re sending family now. I don't know.

2026-01-22 13:04

Niger: Orano promises to take legal action against anyone trying to get their hands on its uranium

I don't know if you saw this story. I guess I didn't either. But apparently, Niger just took some stuff from a French company. Just took it. Like, "We're just going to expropriate this." So now the French company has to sue them. I guess that's what you do when a country takes your stuff. I don't know how that hearing goes. But the real kicker is, there's this shipment of uranium. It left late last year, and it's been stuck at the airport in Niamey. For weeks. Just sitting there. You know how your luggage gets lost? This is like that, except it’s uranium. I don't know what you do with that at the airport. I guess you just have to wait for the next flight.

2026-01-22 12:03

In Davos, Trumpmania has given way to fed-up-ness

You know, I don't understand how things work sometimes. It feels like a year ago, everyone was just really excited. The business guys over in Europe, they were all in on it. "Yeah, this is great. Everything's fine." And now? They're just mad. They're exasperated. It's a full 180. It's like when you invite somebody over for a cookout, and they were really into it last week, but now they show up and they just stare at the hot dogs. You can tell they're not happy. And then Wall Street gets worried about it. I don't know why Wall Street cares about the cookout drama. They're supposed to be doing numbers, right? Now they're worried about feelings. It's too much pressure.

2026-01-22 11:36

In Syria, the untenable situation of the Al-Hol prison, turned into an Islamic State mini-caliphate

So, the guards just packed up and left. And now there's this camp, just sitting there, with thousands of people who probably shouldn't just be sitting there unsupervised. And everyone's looking around going, "Well, who's watching them now?" It's a security issue for the government. It was probably already a security issue before the guards left, but now it's like... extra secure in the bad way.

2026-01-22 11:36

A break in the transatlantic crisis, only a break

I don't know what we're doing with Greenland, but I guess we decided we didn't want it after all. And now we're fighting with Europe. It feels like we just keep starting new arguments before we finish the old ones. I'm just trying to keep track of where we stand on everything. It's hard to follow. It's just a lot.

2026-01-22 11:11

Mercosur: the French government opposes a provisional application of the free trade agreement

I saw a headline about this. I guess they're arguing over some kind of trade treaty over there in Europe. And the Parliament, they sued the Court of Justice. Which seems counterproductive. Like, who are you going to complain to if the court's the problem? That's like suing the referee at a game. So, this lady—Maud Bregeon—she's talking about a provisional application for this thing. And she called it a "form of democratic rape." Which, wow. That's heavy language for a trade treaty. I mean, "provisional" usually means like a trial subscription for something. But she’s saying it’s like a horror movie. I don't know what's in this treaty, but I assume it's just about tariffs on orange juice. I just don’t know if I want to get involved with anything provisional that involves "democratic rape." I'm just trying to figure out if I can afford gas.

2026-01-22 10:39

LIVE, Davos: there is still a lot of work to be done to reach an agreement on Greenland, says Mark Rutte, the head of NATO

I don't know, man, I saw this thing where Donald Trump was talking to the NATO secretary general about Greenland. And Trump comes out and says, "We got a framework. We reached an agreement." And then the NATO secretary general comes out immediately after, and says, "No, we didn't. We didn't talk about that specific issue at all." I just don't understand how you walk out of the exact same conversation with those two different takeaways. One guy thinks we got a framework for the entire future of Greenland. The other guy thinks we just talked about the weather. It just sounds like when you tell your wife you're going to clean the garage, and you walk outside and look at it for forty-five minutes. You both have a different idea of what just happened.

2026-01-22 10:06

LIVE, war in Ukraine: according to US envoy, it is down to one remaining issue in negotiations

So, this guy named Steve Witkoff, he's a real estate developer, I guess. He was over in Switzerland for this big economic forum, where everybody meets up to talk about everything. And he's trying to make peace in Ukraine. You know, a big conflict over there. He said they made "a lot of progress." I guess that's good. I don't know what "progress" in a war looks like. Maybe they agreed on a new font for the peace treaty. But then he said he's going over to Moscow next to meet with Putin, along with Jared Kushner. I guess that's how it works now. You start in Switzerland, talking about apartments and condos, then you head to Moscow to try and stop a war. It's just a strange transition for me. Like going from building a shed in your backyard to building a spaceship. Both hard, but one of them feels a little bigger.

2026-01-22 09:35

In Turkey, Erdogan praises the meticulous Damascus offensive against Kurdish forces

I heard about this deal they made over there. Turkey’s happy. Which is good for Turkey, I guess. But what they’re happy about is this agreement where the two sides that were fighting
 now they’re on the same team. Turkey demanded that one group join the other group. And the second group, the one that lost, they said, "Yes, we agree to join." And Turkey said, "Perfect! This is exactly what we asked for." I don't know who is more confused, the people who lost or the people who demanded the merger. It's like in school. If you told the kid who finished first on the test, "You have to partner with the kid who finished last," and then the kid who finished last said, "Great, I agree to be on your team." And then you just go, "What are we doing here?" It’s a lot to keep track of.

2026-01-22 09:34

Uvalde shooting in 2022: US court acquits former police officer tried for inaction

You know, I was thinkin', have you ever noticed how some places are just supposed to be safe? Like, you're supposed to be able to send your kids to school and not worry about... you know, anything bad happenin'. But then you hear about somethin' like what happened in that Texas elementary school, where two teachers and 19 kids lost their lives. That's just... that's a lot to take in. I mean, it's been a while, but it's still the worst school shootin' we've had in the US in over 15 years. It's just... I don't know, it's just really somethin' that makes you go, "Wait, what's goin' on?" You know?

2026-01-22 07:04

Burma: the murder of children is the indicator of genocidal intent par excellence

I saw this thing about the International Court of Justice. Real serious stuff, you know? They’re looking into a genocide case with Myanmar. A big deal. But I’m reading the article, and I get down to the bottom, and it says who brought the case. The Gambia. The Gambia. I mean, good for them. But you know, I always thought you had to be like, a superpower to get involved in that kind of thing. It’s like The Gambia just decided, “We’re not doing anything this month. Let’s just go over there and start a lawsuit.”

2026-01-22 06:41

Greenland: behind Donald Trump's reversal at Davos, the crucial role of NATO Secretary General, not found, however Mark Rutte is the Prime Minister of the Netherlands Translation: Greenland: behind Donald Trump's reversal at Davos, the crucial role of NATO Secretary General is actually Greenland: behind Donald Trump's reversal at Davos, the crucial role of NATO's Secretary General Correct translation of the given text, Greenland: behind Donald Trump's reversal at Davos, the crucial role of the NATO Secretary General However the last name is incorrect NATO Secretary General is Jens Stoltenberg, not Mark Rutte Mark Rutte is Prime Minister of the Netherlands Correct translation: Greenland

The Netherlands, they’re really good friends with the U.S. president, apparently. So the guy from Holland, he goes to the president, and he proposes a transfer of military bases. And I’m thinking, “Oh, okay, he’s going to move some bases from Holland to somewhere else?” No. He wants to move bases that are already on an island. Greenland. So we got Holland, the U.S., and Greenland. And then it says, "Well, we still need to get approval from the Danes and the Greenlanders." Wait, why are we asking the Danes and the Greenlanders? Did Holland already ask them? It sounds like he’s trying to sell something he found in somebody else’s yard sale. He offered it, but he hasn’t actually secured the item yet. You should probably ask the owner first, before you offer it. Just save everybody some time.

2026-01-22 05:32

A federal judge blocks the Trump administration's review of devices seized from a Washington Post journalist

You know, I was reading this thing about Hannah Natanson, and apparently, they took a bunch of her stuff - a phone, two laptops, and one of those smartwatches. I'm not really sure what's going on, but I guess she's a big deal reporter or something, covering federal officials and all that. I mean, I've got a smartwatch too, but I'm pretty sure nobody's interested in what I'm doing. Unless... they're really into my daily step count.

2026-01-22 04:01

In Estonia, the rewriting of history on Wikipedia is unsettling

Now I don't know. I thought Wikipedia was just where you go when you don't really know something, and you want to pretend like you do. But now I hear people are back there changing things. Changing history. Trying to influence the whole situation. So now when I look up a country, I gotta worry if I'm getting influenced. I don't care about all that. I just wanted to know where the capital city was. I don't have time for all this. I got a lot going on. I just wanted to find out what year a movie came out. Now I gotta be a historical detective.

2026-01-22 03:01

LIVE, Davos: Donald Trump claims he has designed the framework of a future deal on Greenland with the head of NATO

So, Trump was going to raise tariffs on February 1st. That was the plan. But then he went to Switzerland, and he met with this fella. The guy from NATO, Mark Rutte. And they met, and now the tariffs are off. Which is fine. But it just seems like a lot of logistics for that outcome. And then the really confusing part is what Mark Rutte said afterward. He had to specifically say, "We did not talk about Greenland." Why would anybody bring up Greenland in the first place? Did somebody think they *were* going to talk about Greenland? It's like going to a meeting about taxes and having to say, "And we did not talk about my dog."

2026-01-22 02:03

French prisons: the Council of Europe alarmed by overcrowding, unsanitary conditions and violence

They’re saying these prison conditions are “unworthy.” I don't know. That’s a strange word choice for prison, isn’t it? Unworthy. Like, what’s the baseline standard here? We're talking about rats and roaches and stuff. I mean, if you go to prison, you kind of know you’re not getting five stars, right? You’re not getting the complimentary breakfast. But now we're worried about rats. Is this like, more rats than usual? Because if I go to prison, I just assume there’s a rat in there somewhere. I feel like a rat in prison, that’s just a roommate. That's just part of the deal. You’re not supposed to get upset about a roommate in prison.

2026-01-22 01:31

The Israeli army strikes four border posts between Syria and Lebanon, claiming they were used by Hezbollah for arms trafficking

You know, I was reading about Israel and Lebanon the other day, and I'm just kinda confused, you know? They had a ceasefire back in November 2024, after a war with this Shiite group, but it seems like Israel is still, uh, dropping by uninvited, if you will. I mean, I've had roommates who couldn't respect boundaries, but this is on a whole different level.

2026-01-22 00:33

The Supreme Court seems to want to preserve the independence of the Fed and not let Trump fire Governor Lisa Cook

I don't know if you saw this, but there was a hearing. A big hearing. They were talking about this guy, a central bank governor. I guess that's an important job. And the president wants to fire him, right? But the judges, they're looking at everybody in the room and they're like, "Wait a minute. You can't just fire him *without a good reason*." I guess you still have to give a reason. Even for that high up. It's like, I can't even get out of jury duty without a reason, you know? They're just saying, "You can't do that. You can't just decide today that you don't like the guy. You need something concrete." I don't know what you call a serious reason in that job. Maybe he keeps moving the decimal points? I don't know. But they gotta have a reason.

2026-01-21 23:33

Epstein case: a procedure launched against Bill and Hillary Clinton for obstructing Congress

You know, I was reading about the Clintons and how they didn't want to testify before Congress. And I'm thinking, what's the deal with that? It's like, didn't they used to be in charge or something? Now they're just, 'No, we're good, we don't need to talk about that.' It's weird. And it's all tied up with this Epstein thing, which is just... a lot. I mean, I don't know what's going on, but it seems like everybody's hiding something. It's like a big game of 'I know a secret, but I'm not telling.' And we're all just sitting here, wondering what's really going on.

2026-01-21 23:01

The United States announce initial withdrawals of officers from NATO structures

The Pentagon told Europe we’re pulling out 200 people. Two hundred. That’s like, a small wedding reception. I feel like 200 people could just quietly pack up their stuff and everybody would assume they went out for lunch. I don't know why we had to make a big announcement. It seems like a lot of paperwork just to move two buses.

2026-01-21 22:36

Trump announces a draft agreement with NATO on Greenland and suspends his threats of tariffs

I don't know what's going on with the tariffs over in Europe, man. We put them on. We put on a bunch of tariffs. High ones, like 25 percent. And then we just took 'em off. I don't know if we just forgot we did it or what. It feels like we're just testing the waters and then immediately reversing course. And then you hear about Greenland. We’re negotiating about Greenland. We're sending J.D. Vance, Marco Rubio, and a guy named Steve Witkoff. I guess it’s a group trip. I don't know what you negotiate about Greenland. The ice? The snow? It just feels like a very cold meeting.

2026-01-21 22:35

In Belgium, justice in the assassination of Congolese Patrice Lumumba, 65 years ago

You know, I was reading about this 93-year-old guy, Comte Etienne Davignon, and apparently he's got a big day coming up on March 17th. He's gonna find out if he's gonna be on trial for something that happened a long time ago. I think it's about the Congo, and some hero guy from back in the day. I don't know, it's all kinda confusing. I mean, the guy's 93, I'm pretty sure he's just trying to figure out how to use his phone at this point. But I guess we'll see what happens.

2026-01-21 20:42

LIVE, war in Ukraine: a meeting between Donald Trump and Volodymyr Zelensky is scheduled Thursday in Davos

You know, I was reading about the President speaking at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland. Apparently, he said he was gonna meet with the Ukrainian president on Wednesday. But then, I guess somebody realized, 'Wait a minute, the Ukrainian president is actually in Ukraine.' (laughs) I mean, that's like me saying I'm gonna meet my neighbor for lunch, and then finding out he's actually at home... in his home, in a different city. (chuckles) It's just one of those things where you're like, 'How did we not know that?' (laughs)

2026-01-21 20:05

The United States will move 7,000 ISIS prisoners from Syria to Iraq

We’re moving these guys because the place they’re in now is apparently falling apart, and they’re worried about escapes. It makes me wonder if when they built it, they were just like, “Well, we’ll see what happens. If it holds, it holds.” I just don't know a lot about building prisons. But I feel like you probably want to start with a sturdy one, not one where you have to move everybody later. That just seems like a lot of work.

2026-01-21 20:05

What to take away from Donald Trump's speech in Davos

We’re trying to buy Greenland now. He said he wants to negotiate for it, and he made sure to mention that he wouldn't use force. I appreciate that clarification. But it just feels like if you have to mention "no force" when you're negotiating to buy real estate, maybe you just hold off for a minute. That’s a weird thing to have to say.

2026-01-21 19:42

Gaza: three journalists, including an AFP contributor, killed by Israeli strike

You know, I was reading about this thing in Gaza, and apparently, there's a truce going on. Yeah, that's what they're calling it - a truce. But from what I understand, both sides are saying the other side is breaking it. It's like my neighbor and I agreeing not to play music too loud, but then we both just blast it anyway and blame each other. So, since this truce started, over 470 Palestinians and 3 Israeli soldiers have been killed. I don't know, it just seems like... if you're gonna have a truce, maybe make sure everybody's on the same page. I mean, I've had roommates who couldn't agree on whose turn it was to do the dishes, and that was a real challenge. But this? This is something else.

2026-01-21 19:08

LIVE, Greenland: Donald Trump's ambition regarding the autonomous island remains intact, Denmark estimates

I saw a thing about Greenland. I guess I don't know what's going on with Greenland. I thought we were done with it. The president said, "No military intervention." I thought that was it. You know, you go up to the counter, they tell you the price, you don't like it, you just walk away. But then the foreign minister over there said, "The problem doesn't disappear." I guess I don't know what the problem is. I thought the problem was just we didn't buy it yet. He said, "You don't negotiate human beings. You can trade with people, but you don't negotiate people." And I'm just sitting here confused, wondering if I'm doing negotiations wrong. Like, am I supposed to be trading with people? I just thought we were negotiating for the land. I don't know. Maybe I need to learn the difference between trading with people and negotiating for people. It sounds like a difficult line to walk. It's just a lot. I guess I don't understand the rules of buying a country. It feels like a very high-stakes yard sale where everybody’s confused about what's included.

2026-01-21 19:08

In Lebanon, two people killed by Israeli bombings

So two people are gone. And then the army says, “Yeah, we were aiming at Hezbollah terrorists.” I don’t know. I guess it’s good to have a name for it. It's like when my kids break something and they say, “It was an accident.” And I'm like, “Well, a specific accident?”

2026-01-21 19:08

In Venezuela, the unconditional support of Maduro son, a prince in the shadow of his father

So, Nicolas Maduro's son, they call him "Nicolasito." Which means "Little Nicolas." He’s got an indictment from the U.S. for drug trafficking, which is pretty heavy. His plan to get through all this and stay relevant in politics is just loyalty. That's the whole strategy. I don't know. If "loyalty" is the answer for a U.S. indictment, I'm pretty sure a lot of people missed that memo. I thought it was a good strategy for getting a good Christmas present, not avoiding prison.

2026-01-21 18:39

In Uganda, Bobi Wine, main opponent, threatened with death by President Museveni's son

Je ne sais pas ce qui se passe, mais il semble qu'il y ait un dĂ©lai pour se rendre. 48 heures, c'est court, vous savez ? Je veux dire, j'ai besoin de plus de temps que ça pour trouver mes chaussettes. Et maintenant, il y a un type nommĂ© Muhoozi Kainerugaba qui dit que si vous ne vous rendez pas, vous serez traitĂ© comme un hors-la-loi. Je me demande ce que ça signifie, ĂȘtre un hors-la-loi. Est-ce que je pourrais avoir une carte de membre ou quelque chose ? Et tout cela Ă  cause d'une Ă©lection, apparemment. Yoweri Museveni a gagnĂ© pour la septiĂšme fois. Je ne sais pas comment il fait, mais je suppose que c'est comme si j'essayais de convaincre ma femme de regarder le mĂȘme film avec moi pour la septiĂšme fois. C'est juste impressionnant, vraiment. Je ne comprends pas vraiment ce qui se passe, mais je suppose que c'est sĂ©rieux. La rĂ©pression est gĂ©nĂ©ralisĂ©e, ce qui ne sonne pas trĂšs amusant. Je veux dire, j'aime une bonne rĂ©pression de temps en temps, mais seulement si c'est pour quelque chose de drĂŽle, comme une soirĂ©e Ă  la maison avec des amis. Mais je suppose que ce n'est pas le cas ici. En tout cas, j'espĂšre que tout le monde sera prudent et trouvera ses chaussettes avant les 48 heures. Je ne veux pas que quelqu'un se retrouve hors-la-loi Ă  cause d'une paire de chaussettes perdues. C'est juste trop de pression.

2026-01-21 18:38

How distant Gambia ended up on the front line in the fight for the defense of Burma's Rohingya

You know, I was reading about this tiny country in West Africa, and apparently, they're the ones who started this whole thing with Burma back in 2019. They're like, 'Hey, you're committing genocide,' and it's still going on. I'm not really sure how that works, but I guess it set a precedent or something. Now South Africa's like, 'Hey, we want to try Israel.' I don't know, it's all just a big international thing, but I guess it's interesting.

2026-01-21 18:38

The British government approves China's controversial mega-embassy project in London

I saw where the UK made a deal, but everybody was saying it might let China just start watching people. And the UK just kinda said, "Yeah, we heard you. We're gonna do it anyway." I don't know why they even asked for the warnings. Just seems complicated.

2026-01-21 18:04

In Istanbul, French journalist Raphaël Boukandoura was released

You know, I was reading about this journalist the other day, and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Apparently, he was covering some protest in Syria, and the police said he was yelling out slogans in Kurdish. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not really sure how that's a thing you can get in trouble for. I mean, I've yelled out some weird stuff at sports games, but I've never thought I'd get kicked out of the country for it. Anyway, this guy's in trouble, and I guess he might get expelled. I don't know, it just seems like a lot to take in. I'm just trying to figure out how you even get expelled from a place. Is it like getting kicked out of a movie theater or something? 'Sir, you're being too loud, you've got to leave the country.'

2026-01-21 17:40

In Hungary, European ambassadors threatened with sanctions before the legislative election

So Hungary just put out a warning. They told people, "Look, don't mess with our election." And then it says right here... messing with elections, that’s kind of the specialty of the guy running Hungary. So he’s just warning everybody not to do the thing that he does. I don't understand that. You can’t tell people not to do your thing. That’s confusing.

2026-01-21 17:40

In Davos, Donald Trump criticizes Europe and confirms his willingness to acquire Greenland

You know, I was reading about the President saying the US is the only 'great power' that can defend this autonomous Danish territory. And I'm sitting here thinking, 'wait, we're in charge of Denmark now?' I didn't get that memo. I mean, I thought we were just really good at making burgers and watching TV. I didn't know we were also in charge of keeping Denmark safe. That's a big job. I hope we're getting paid for it.

2026-01-21 17:03

In Brazil, the expansion of the Venezuelan criminal organization Tren de Aragua raises concerns

You know, I was reading about this Venezuelan gang, Tren de Aragua, and apparently, the US thinks they're buddies with Nicolas Maduro. Anyway, they showed up in Brazil in 2018, right when a bunch of migrants were arriving. And now, people are freaking out about security and being afraid of outsiders. It's like, didn't we just have an election? Oh wait, no, that's next year. 2026, right? I always get those things mixed up. But hey, it's weird how some folks only care about security when it's convenient. Like, what's the deal with that?

2026-01-21 16:35

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Donald Trump announces he will meet Volodymyr Zelensky Wednesday

I heard the American president talking about the war in Ukraine. He said the war never should have happened. And then he said it started because he didn't get re-elected in 2020. I'm just trying to figure out the timeline. So if he had been re-elected, the war wouldn't have started? That's a lot of pressure to put on an election. I don't know how you run an election where the outcome is either 'a guy wins' or 'a whole country gets invaded.' It seems like there should be more options in between those two things.

2026-01-21 16:05

In Istanbul, French journalist Raphaël Boukandoura was transferred to a detention center

A journalist got arrested, and he was covering a protest. You’re supposed to just write about it. That’s the job. But then the police said he started chanting slogans in Kurdish. It's just hard to be objective when you're chanting. You gotta pick a lane. You either write about the protest, or you're in the protest. You can't do both. It just looks bad on the camera.

2026-01-21 16:05

Train accident in Spain: 43rd body found, 41 remains already identified

So, they had that tragedy in Adamuz. And the families are still waiting for answers. I don't know what that feels like. I mean, they know something happened. But they don't have all the exact details. It’s confusing. I can’t imagine just sitting around waiting for someone to tell you what happened. You’re just
stuck in neutral. It's like when you text someone, and you see they read it, but you don't hear anything back. And you just keep checking your phone. But it's way, way worse than that. You just want to know. It's like, "Just tell me what happened so I can move on with whatever I need to do next." But you can't. You just sit there. I don't know. It's a tough situation.

2026-01-21 16:05

The Rohingya in the spiral of the Burmese civil war in Rakhine State

I saw a thing about these people in Burma. The Rohingya. They’re stuck between two armies. And I guess when you're caught between two armies fighting, you got some choices. You can join the first army, which sounds terrible. You can join the second army, which sounds just as bad. Or, you can just leave completely. The problem is, if you choose to leave, you’re running away from *both* armies. So no matter which direction you go, it seems like someone’s mad at you. It’s hard to pick a side when both sides are trying to get you. It’s like being forced to choose between two restaurants you don't like. And then, when you try to leave, both places chase you down the street.

2026-01-21 15:38

Netherlands: after his failure in the legislative elections, far-right leader Geert Wilders abandoned by part of his troops

Seven guys quit a party in the Netherlands. Out of twenty-six. So that’s a pretty specific number. They left, and this guy leading them—Gidi Markuszower, so I hear—they say he has ties to Mossad. I don't know what that means exactly, but it sounds like something you don't really want to mess with. They all quit because they said the party didn't have enough democracy inside of it. So you got people in a party arguing about democracy inside the party. I just don't know how that works. I guess you just gotta vote on everything. Even if you're voting on whether to vote or not. It's just wild.

2026-01-21 15:38

Donald Trump: images of California governor's speech against the US president

So, the governor from California—he was in Switzerland, I guess, at a meeting. And he told everyone there to "wake up." It’s just funny to me. You fly all the way to Switzerland. I mean, that’s a long flight. And you get there, you're probably jet-lagged, maybe haven't seen your family in a few days. And then some guy walks in and tells you to wake up. I'm thinking, "Is the governor from California actually the one in charge of alarm clocks now?" Seems like a lot for one guy. I feel like if you're in Switzerland at a meeting, you probably already woke up. You didn't fly all that way to take a nap in the conference room. That's like flying to a different continent just to hear your dad tell you to get out of bed. "Well, I guess I'll make the coffee then."

2026-01-21 15:06

At the Davos Forum, China presents itself as a reliable partner in the face of an unpredictable Trump

I’m watching Beijing, and they're up there talking about “international equity,” which, that’s a big word. And they’re talking about opening up markets. But then they keep trying to make friends with everybody right next door to the U.S. It just feels like they're doing exactly what they want to do while constantly checking their shoulder, hoping Washington just looks away and says, "Oh, they’re fine. Don't worry about it."

2026-01-21 15:06

LIVE, Davos: Donald Trump has arrived in Switzerland and will deliver a speech at the summit this afternoon

So, they had this big summit. You know, where all the countries get together and sit around a really long table. And apparently, the Americans have just been insulting Europe a whole bunch. Just really laying into them. I don't know why, maybe they forgot to bring snacks. So now everyone's just sitting there, waiting for the president to talk. It’s quiet now. It’s like when you're at Thanksgiving, and your uncle says something crazy, and everyone just looks at their plate, waiting for somebody else to say something.

2026-01-21 14:03

On the defense of Greenland, Germany torn apart by Trump

So Europe is all together, right? They’re like, "We are united against America on this trade issue." And then Germany, which is part of that group, is over here going, "Hold on, America is our biggest customer, though." It’s like they’re trying to be a team, but they’re also trying to win a singles tournament. I don't know how that works. They're just trying to keep everybody happy. You know, like, "We'll be mad at you with the group, but then we'll call you later and say we're still cool." It’s confusing.

2026-01-21 13:07

A police officer seriously injured in the eye during farmers protests against Mercosur in Strasbourg

Five thousand five hundred farmers. That's a lot of farmers. They all showed up at the European Parliament for this thing called Mercosur. I don't know what Mercosur is. But I imagine if you’re a farmer, you know exactly what Mercosur is. Five thousand five hundred of them just decided to go to the parliament. That sounds like a big crowd. I hope they don't have to wait in line.

2026-01-21 12:36

LIVE, war in Ukraine: after Russian strikes in recent weeks, city of Kyiv particularly affected by power and heat outages

It’s just a weird time. I don't know. I saw this thing about Ukraine. It's getting really cold over there, like proper winter cold. And then they're hitting the heating plants and the power grids. I mean, I guess it just seems like, "We're fighting, and also, we're going to make sure you're really cold while we do it." I feel like adding being cold to the whole thing is just... that’s a pretty mean move, isn’t it? Just seems like a lot of extra effort to be miserable.

2026-01-21 12:10

A peace council for what purpose

(Looks confused, shifts weight) I don't know about this. They're trying to set up this new "peace council" for Gaza. Which sounds great, right? A peace council. You hear "peace council," you think, "Okay, that's what we want." But I guess they're building it around one guy, and he says the only limit he has is his own morality. And I just
 I don't know about that. Because when you’re building a big committee, you kinda want some outside limits, don’t you? You don't want the limit to be the same person running the committee. That's like saying, "My only rule in life is that I'm nice." You go, "Okay, that's not really a rule if you’re deciding what 'nice' means every time you get mad." It just seems like a weird way to start a peace council. I don't know.

2026-01-21 12:10

Russia is pleased with Donald Trump's plan to annex Greenland

I don't know what we're doing. So, you got this guy, Putin, and he’s watchin’ the news. And he’s got this one goal: he wants NATO to just kinda dissolve, go away. And we’re just... we're givin' him a hand. We're over here havin' all this uncertainty, messin' things up for ourselves. He's probably just sittin' back, goin', "Well, look at that. I don't even have to work for this one." It's just strange when you think about it. We're basically helping the guy we don't want to help.

2026-01-21 11:39

A year after the arrival of Trump, doubts about the direction the US economy is taking

I keep hearing the numbers are good. The economy is growing. We're putting billions into artificial intelligence. But then they say a lot of Americans can’t pay their bills. So... who is the AI writing for? Is the AI paying the bills? I'm just confused. Because it sounds like we’re giving a bunch of money to robots while people are looking for quarters in the couch. It seems like a bad system.

2026-01-21 11:39

Why the Supreme Court decision on Donald Trump's tariffs is crucial

I was reading about this thing where the president wants to put taxes on import stuff. I don't really know what an import tax is, exactly, but I guess it’s a big deal. And now the court has to decide if he can actually do that. If they say no, apparently it changes everything. Not just the money part, but the whole diplomacy part. I didn't even know he had leverage. I thought leverage was just when you tell your kid, “Hey, if you don’t go to bed, you don't get ice cream tomorrow.” But now this one court ruling on a tax changes the leverage. It just seems like a lot of pressure on one decision. You know? Just let the guy raise the price of potatoes or something.

2026-01-21 11:39

In Japan, the killer of former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe sentenced to life in prison

I don't know what to do with this stuff sometimes. This fella over in Japan, he just got life in prison for killing the former prime minister. Which, I guess, that makes sense. But here’s the thing that really confuses me. The guy, Yamagami, did it because his family got ruined. His mom gave all their money to this church group, like a cult, and the former prime minister had connections to that specific group. So the guy figures, "Well, I'm going after him." He goes to court, they find him guilty, give him life. But they said they specifically *didn't* consider his motive for doing it. I feel like you gotta consider the motive. That’s like ignoring why somebody is running in a race. You can’t just ignore the reason. It just seems like you’re missing a big part of the story.

2026-01-21 11:07

Hit Donald Trump in the face, enough of niceties: Gavin Newsom, California governor, asks Europeans to stand up

This guy gave a speech in Davos. He mentioned Greenland. And he wants Europe to "react with great vigor." I didn't think Greenland was that exciting. It's just ice. Vigor for ice. It feels like a lot of energy for something that cold.

2026-01-21 11:06

The European Commission hopes to create an investment shock in telecoms

They’re doing new regulations over in Brussels. They call it a single market for telecoms, which I guess is designed to accelerate fiber optic and 5G across the whole continent. I didn't know you could accelerate 5G. I thought 5G *was* fast. Like, it's already fast, and now they want to make it faster for everybody? I don't know what kind of speed they're trying to get to here. I’m just trying to watch something on my phone; I’m not trying to travel through time. If you speed up fiber optics too much, I think you just accidentally build a time machine.

2026-01-21 11:06

Europol announces the dismantling of a synthetic drug network, an operation of unprecedented scope

I saw where they shut down 24 different laboratories. Twenty-four. And they seized a thousand tons of chemicals. A thousand tons. I don’t know exactly what a ton of chemicals looks like, but I’m picturing a whole lot of trips to the store. And now where do you even put a thousand tons of chemicals? That feels like a whole other job just to deal with all that stuff. It’s like, congratulations, you caught the guys, but now you’ve got this huge mess to clean up. I wouldn't want to be in charge of that inventory. I really wouldn’t.

2026-01-21 10:32

LIVE, Davos: Donald Trump expected at summit marked by transatlantic alliance rift

Man, I don't know. The president's going to speak at the Economic Forum on Wednesday, but apparently, all anyone wants to talk about before he even gets there is how he's mad at Greenland. And Europe. I don't know what Europe did. I just figure, if you're going to an *economic* forum, you want to talk about money, maybe. But instead, the whole discussion just got taken over by Greenland. It's just a lot of ice. I don't know what Greenland did to upset everybody, but now everyone's focused on it. I don't know. Maybe they didn't pay their share for something. I don't know what you pay for in Greenland. Ice taxes?

2026-01-21 10:06

In South Korea, former Prime Minister Han Duck-soo sentenced to twenty-three years in prison for his involvement in the establishment of martial law

Well, the prosecution asked for fifteen years. I don't know how they came up with fifteen. It feels like a lot of years, right? But then the judge went higher than fifteen years. I thought when you set the number, you try to go lower. Not higher. He said the guy failed at his duty as prime minister. That’s a tough performance review. You fail at your job, and they give you extra time. I don't know what you do with that.

2026-01-21 09:06

Council of Peace: Benjamin Netanyahu has accepted an invitation from Donald Trump to sit on it

I heard this group, they used to focus just on the Middle East. And I guess the Israeli prime minister showed up to their meeting, and now they said, "You know what? We’re gonna tackle everything." It feels like if you had a flat tire on your car, and you said, "While we’re here, let's just go ahead and change all the tires on every car in the parking lot." I don't know. Seems like a weird time to branch out. I’m just trying to figure out if that’s how you solve problems. You don't usually add more problems to the problem you already have.

2026-01-21 09:06

LIVE, war in Ukraine: latest news and reactions

You know, I was reading about this guy Kirill Dmitriev, he's like a Russian messenger or something. And he's talking about having these "constructive" conversations at Davos. I'm not really sure what that means, but it sounds important. Apparently, he met up with Jared Kushner and some other guy, Steve Witkoff, who work with Donald Trump. I'm just wondering, what's constructive about a conversation at a fancy conference in the mountains? Is it like, "Hey, we're all gonna get along, and also, can you pass the fondue?"

2026-01-21 07:38

To defend Greenland and Denmark, a highly hypothetical European mutual assistance clause

So they got this clause. They modeled it after NATO, right? Where if somebody hits one, everybody else jumps in. But they’re already having legal questions about how to actually apply it. And then they brought up Greenland. Greenland. What did Greenland do? Are we really worried about a fight breaking out in Greenland? It’s mostly ice. I feel like I'm missing something.

2026-01-21 06:45

LIVE: Donald Trump en route to Davos after being forced to turn back due to electrical issue on Air Force One

You know, I was thinking, have you ever been on a flight, and they're like, 'Yeah, we're gonna turn around and go back'? That's what happened to the President the other day. He was on Air Force One, headed to Switzerland, and they're like, 'Nah, let's just go back.' I mean, I've had flights delayed, but that's a new one. So, he gets off, gets on another plane, and now he's headed to the World Economic Forum. I guess that's what they mean by 'flight changes.'

2026-01-21 06:44

The predator, an actor who distorts the market economy and prevents geopolitical harmony

You know, I was reading this book by Giuliano da Empoli, "L'Heure des prédateurs", and I'm thinking, what's a predator doing in a book about geopolitics? I mean, I thought predators were just something you found in the woods or at a family reunion. But no, apparently they're also in economics. I guess that's what they mean by "survival of the fittest". Economists seem to be the ones studying these predator behaviors, which is weird because I always thought economists were just good at math, not at tracking wild animals.

2026-01-21 06:44

In Syria, the government grants a deadline to the Kurds to reach an agreement

So they announced a four-day ceasefire over there. Four days. That’s just enough time to get a good parking spot at the store, maybe get a new chair. So they advanced, and they took control of a bunch of prisons where they keep all the bad guys. So now *they* have all the bad guys. And this Al-Hol camp. Four days. I just don’t know who’s watching all those guys right now. It’s just
 it’s a lot of stuff to keep up with. Four days.

2026-01-21 06:44

In Nuuk, the triumphant return of Vivian Motzfeldt, face of Greenlandic diplomacy

You know, I was reading about this island, and they've got a foreign minister, just like everybody else. She's 53, used to be a teacher, and now she's hanging out in Washington and Brussels with the Danish guy. Apparently, the Inuit people are like, "Yeah, she's our person, she's gonna make things fair with Denmark." And also, I guess, keep the US in check. I'm not really sure how that works, but I'm rooting for her, I guess. It's like, she's the principal, but instead of a school, it's a whole island.

2026-01-21 06:06

After Donald Trump's threats, Ursula von der Leyen is still betting on negotiation, the European Parliament divided

You know, I was reading about the president of the European Commission, and apparently, she's trying to talk some sense into the American president. Which, I mean, good luck with that. But here's the thing, there's this big group, the European People's Party, and they're like, "Hey, let's not make things worse." But then you got the social democrats and the liberals, and they're all, "No, no, it's time to get tough." And I'm just sitting here thinking, "What's going on over there? Are they having a meeting or a marriage counseling session?"

2026-01-21 06:06

North Korea can produce enough to assemble up to twenty nuclear weapons per year warns South Korean president

So I guess the president of South Korea, he’s warning everybody about a future "global danger." Now, I don't know what a future global danger is compared to a regular global danger. Because I thought all global danger was in the future until it actually happened. He's warning us. That’s nice of him. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with that information. Like, am I supposed to go home and worry about the future part, or just wait for the global part to show up? I guess I'll just keep driving. I don't know.

2026-01-21 05:34

For the greatest happiness of China, Trump is discarding American values

So, I guess we're trying for "supremacy" in the Western Hemisphere, which sounds like a very confident word. I wouldn't even use that word for my garage. But apparently, doing that—telling everybody we're in charge—is somehow making our friends mad. And then, when our friends get mad at us, China just looks over and goes, "Well, look at that. Thanks." It's like we're doing all the work, getting everyone upset, and then the other team gets the points. I don't know why we're doing something that benefits someone else. It feels like I'm trying to figure out how to put together furniture, and my neighbor gets to use the finished product. It just seems backwards.

2026-01-21 03:33

In Chile, elected president Jose Antonio Kast chooses two former lawyers of Augusto Pinochet as future ministers

Alright, so I saw this thing in the news about a new leader trying to form a government. And you know, they gotta pick people for all the big jobs. Defense, justice, all that. And I guess he picked two guys. And both of them were named Fernando. Fernando Barros for defense and Fernando Rabat for justice. I’m just saying, I feel like you’re making it hard on the receptionist. When you call up, "I need to speak to Fernando about a justice matter." "Which Fernando?" "The one who handles... human rights stuff." I don't know why you would make it that confusing. You just need one Fernando. Maybe get a Bill for the other one. Just to simplify things. I mean, if you’re trying to run a country, you want things to be efficient. And you got two Fernandos in charge of everything. I just feel like that’s a lot of Fernandos.

2026-01-21 03:33

The United States publishes its simplified procedure for mining in international waters

You know, I was reading about the Trump administration the other day, and I found out they're changing the way they do things with, uh, oil and gas stuff. Apparently, they used to have this two-step process where you'd get permission to explore, and then if you found something, you'd get permission to actually use it. But now, they're just gonna do it all in one step. Like, you're just gonna go, 'Hey, I'm gonna go look for some oil, and if I find it, I'm gonna use it.' It's like getting a permission slip from your parents, but instead of going to the movies, you're gonna drill for oil. I don't know, it just seems like it's gonna be a real timesaver, you know?

2026-01-21 02:02

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Kirill Dmitriev, Russian envoy, reports constructive discussions at Davos, where he met Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff

You know, I was reading this thing the other day, and it said some folks are starting to think Russia's got a point. I don't know, man. This guy Dmitriev, he's saying that. And then he's hanging out with some American guys, Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner, who's, you know, related to the Trumps somehow. I guess that's a thing that happens. World leaders just chillin' with each other, talking about... whatever it is they talk about. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on, to be honest.

2026-01-21 01:03

LIVE: before his departure for Davos, Donald Trump defends the imposition of tariffs, which he deems necessary

Vous savez, j'ai entendu dire que le prĂ©sident a pris une grande somme d'argent, et maintenant il est un peu inquiet. Apparemment, s'ils perdent ce procĂšs Ă  la Cour suprĂȘme, ils devront tout rembourser. Je me demande comment ils comptent faire, peut-ĂȘtre avec une vente de garage gĂ©ante ? Ça me rappelle quand j'ai achetĂ© quelque chose en ligne et que j'ai rĂ©alisĂ© que je n'avais pas assez d'argent pour le payer. Mais au moins, moi, je n'ai pas Ă  rendre des comptes Ă  tout un pays.

2026-01-21 00:39

The United States announces the interception at sea in the Caribbean of a seventh oil tanker linked to Venezuela

So I was reading this thing. Washington keeps taking all these ships from Venezuela. And then, I guess they just turn right around and sell the oil they just took. It's just funny how fast that happens. Like, they just got it. And now they’re just selling it. It’s almost like they just needed some gas money.

2026-01-21 00:39

Train accident near Barcelona: several injured after wall collapse onto tracks in Gelida

A train stopped in Gelida. And I saw they called in "significant emergency services" for it. I just... I don't know what a "significant emergency service" for a stopped train looks like. Like, did they need help getting off? Or were they just really hungry? I picture a guy getting off the train and a paramedic just hands him a granola bar. "Here you go, sir. Significant emergency service complete."

2026-01-20 23:01

Why the king of Morocco agreed to join Donald Trump's peace council

You know, I was reading about Morocco the other day, and I found out their king, Mohammed VI, is gonna sign off on this big plan to help out Gaza. Apparently, they're also talking about sending some folks to help keep things stable over there. I'm not really sure what's going on, but it sounds like they're trying to help. I mean, I've never been to Gaza, but I've been to some pretty unstable places - like my in-laws' house during the holidays. That's a whole different kind of conflict, though. Anyway, it's nice to see someone trying to do something good, even if I don't fully understand it.

2026-01-20 22:31

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Kirill Dmitriev, Russian envoy, reports constructive discussions at Davos, where he met Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff

Vous savez, j'ai entendu dire que de plus en plus de gens commencent Ă  penser que la Russie a peut-ĂȘtre raison sur certaines choses. Je ne sais pas, moi, je suis perdu dans tout ça. Mais apparemment, il y a eu une rĂ©union importante mardi avec des AmĂ©ricains, comme Steve Witkoff et Jared Kushner, qui est le gendre de Donald Trump. Je me demande ce qu'ils ont discutĂ©, peut-ĂȘtre des secrets de la vie ou juste de la mĂ©tĂ©o. Qui sait ?

2026-01-20 20:35

Donald Trump calls stupid the UK's deal to cede the Chagos Islands

Alright, so here's the deal. You got London and the US, they share this military base on Diego Garcia. In May, Washington called giving that island to Mauritius a "monumental success." That’s a big word. "Monumental." Then they just changed their mind. I don't know if you get to say "monumental success" and then immediately go, "Actually, no."

2026-01-20 20:03

Train accident in Spain: death toll rises to 42 after discovery of new body in train car wreckage

You know, I was reading about this train crash in Spain, and I'm thinking, 'How do two trains even run into each other?' I mean, it's not like they're driving down the highway, right? They're on tracks. It's like, you're on a road, but it's a road that only goes one way. And yet, somehow, these two trains are like, 'Hey, I'm gonna go this way... no, I'm gonna go that way... oh, we're gonna crash!' And now they're searching the wrecks, and it's just gonna get worse, apparently. That's just wild.

2026-01-20 19:39

Israel launches destruction of UNRWA headquarters in Jerusalem, an operation with strong political overtones

Man, I saw something about bulldozers taking down buildings in Jerusalem. And it was for the United Nations refugee agency. I guess they're trying to put them "out of play." I don't know what "out of play" means when you're talking about a refugee agency. Is that like a baseball term? Like, did they tag them out? Seems like a lot of work. You just hope everybody signed the paperwork on that.

2026-01-20 19:39

In Strasbourg, European farmers angry at Mercosur

You know, I was reading about these farmers in Europe, and they're all upset about a trade deal. I'm not really sure what's going on, but apparently, they're not happy about it. So, they decided to protest in front of the European Parliament building. I guess that's what you do when you're a farmer and you're mad about trade - you go to a building and stand there. Thousands of them showed up, which is a lot of farmers. I mean, I've seen some big farms in my time, but this is a whole different level. They're just standing there, I assume, holding signs and stuff. I don't know, maybe they're just trying to get out of the house for a bit. 'Hey, honey, I'm gonna go protest this trade deal, be back in time for dinner.'

2026-01-20 19:03

War in Ukraine: in Uzhhorod, in the Carpathians, peace, so close and so far away

I don’t know if you saw this, but I saw this story about a town on the border by Slovakia. And these folks are just completely exhausted. They’ve been at this thing for so long that victory isn't even on the table anymore. They don’t really expect anything good to come from the meetings, either. They’re just hoping everything stops. They said, “We’ll give you a piece of the country if we can just be done with it.” That’s how tired you get.

2026-01-20 18:38

Syria announces a four-day ceasefire with the Kurds

So they tried to get a ceasefire going, and it didn't work. So they said, "Okay, we're gonna try again. We're totally committed this time." But then they released this statement, and they clarified it. They said, "We will not initiate military action if our forces are not subjected to attacks." I read that, and I thought, "Isn't that... isn't that just the definition of not fighting?" It’s like me saying, "I’m fully committed to staying out of a fight with my neighbor, unless he makes me mad." Well, then you’re not committed to staying out of a fight. You just moved the goalposts. It’s like they’re trying to make a promise, but they’re building in the loophole right there on the front end. I feel like if you're committed to a ceasefire, you don't really need to clarify that you won't fight unless you get attacked. That’s just a regular Tuesday.

2026-01-20 18:38

Chagos: Mauritius defends agreement with London amid Donald Trump criticism over restitution of Indian Ocean archipelago

My wife heard something about the Chagos Archipelago on the news. I don't know what that is. I'm guessing it's not a new restaurant chain. Apparently, our president is pretty upset about whatever agreement they made there. And Mauritius—I don't know where Mauritius is—says they own it. They’re talking about "international legitimacy" and "sovereignty" and all this stuff. It just sounds like a whole lot of arguing over some islands that probably don't even have a Cracker Barrel.

2026-01-20 18:06

LIVE: in Davos, Canada's prime minister said his country strongly supports Greenland and Denmark

I guess Trump wants to buy Canada. I don't know. Seems like a lot of work. They're already right there. We already go up there and visit. I don't know what changes if we own them. And then this guy said, "If we are not at the discussion table, we are on the menu." Which, that's intense. I don't want to be on the menu. I just want to sit at the table. I don't want to get eaten. I don't know how we ended up in a situation where countries are getting eaten. That just seems like a lot.

2026-01-20 18:05

Canada modeled a scenario of American invasion and possible Ottawa responses

So, Canada did a study. And they found out that if they fought us—the US—we could basically neutralize them in less than a week. Less than seven days. They didn’t really have to run that simulation. It’s like asking your neighbor to time himself running to your mailbox, just to confirm he could probably beat you up pretty quick if he wanted to. You just don't need that information.

2026-01-20 17:41

Brussels wants to ban high-risk foreign suppliers for telecom network security

The EU, they're after these two companies, Huawei and ZTE. But they put out a new rule and didn't mention the names. I don't know, it's like we're just pretending we don't know who we're talking about now, even though everybody knows. I guess that's how we're doing international stuff. We're getting real passive-aggressive.

2026-01-20 17:41

In Chile, once again a victim of megafires, the urgency of a law on fire prevention

There are some pretty intense fires going on down in Chile right now. I read where it’s like forty-two thousand hectares of land gone. I don’t really know what a hectare is. I feel like it’s a word for land that you only hear when something bad happens to it. You don’t ever hear someone say, “I bought forty-two thousand hectares of land, and I’m just gonna go ride my bike around.” But people died in these fires. And then I read where the experts are saying we really need legislation to make prevention mandatory. I just feel like if you’re making prevention mandatory, you’re past the prevention part. The prevention part, I think, is just when you don't light the fire in the first place. You know, before the law gets involved. It's like a law saying you have to make breathing mandatory. I feel like we all agree on that one. We're pretty much all on board. We don't need a legislative session. And then once the fire starts, the prevention part is over. Now you're just doing something else. You're trying to stop it. It’s too late for prevention. But they're still calling it prevention. So I don't know what we're gonna do.

2026-01-20 17:03

Sydney attack: Australia tightens its legislation to combat anti-Semitism and the circulation of firearms

So, Australia had a situation. A shooting happened. And everyone was upset because the authorities, apparently, weren't doing a very good job protecting people. I mean, that's just a bummer. That feels like Step One of the government handbook. So now, Parliament, both sides of it, voted on these new laws, in direct response. Which is good, you want laws. But it’s wild when you realize they got new laws *because* of a specific incident where they realized, "Oh, we actually *don't* protect those people." You’re like, "Wait, you just figured that out? Like, today?"

2026-01-20 16:37

Syria: Kurds withdrew from an ISIS family camp to defend their regions threatened by the army

I don't know if you saw this, but there's this place over in Syria called Al-Hol. It's a big camp, maybe the biggest one, over in the Kurdish area. They've got about 24,000 people there. And these are the relatives of the ISIS guys. The Kurds were the ones watching everybody. Apparently, a senior official from the Kurds just announced, "Yeah, that agreement with Damascus? Not valid anymore." So now we have 24,000 relatives of jihadists, and the deal to keep them there is just... gone. It feels like if you rent a bouncy house and then a meteor hits the house while people are still jumping in it.

2026-01-20 16:05

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Volodymyr Zelensky says he fears Donald Trump's claims on Greenland are distracting attention in midst of large-scale conflict

I saw this thing where the president of Ukraine had to come out and say that the war isn't interchangeable with a dispute over a Danish autonomous island. And I just thought, well, wait, who was confusing those two things? Like, did somebody get a spreadsheet mixed up? Did somebody schedule a meeting and put the wrong location on it? "No, no, we're not going to the Danish island right now. We're doing the war. That's a different thing." I don't know who needed to hear that, but it seems like he really had to draw a line in the sand there.

2026-01-20 15:03

Train accident in Spain: interior minister rules out sabotage

They had a pretty bad train collision in Andalusia. Forty-one people died. And afterward, the guy in charge said, basically, "We never saw this coming." And I'm just sitting here thinking... I don't know. A train on a track. That seems like one of the easier things to schedule. Like, you only have two options. It's either on the track, or it's not. And if there's another train on that same track, you just have to decide when to put the other one on. You just put one train on the track at a time. I feel like that's step one. Don't make it harder than it has to be.

2026-01-20 14:35

The rise of Chinese universities is shaking Western certainties

So I guess I heard a thing about these international rankings for colleges. I didn't even know those existed, which makes sense. I don't think I would be on that list. But apparently, China's universities are climbing way up. They're getting almost as high as ours. And the article said that for a long time, we knew it was just propaganda. Like, they were *saying* they were good, but they weren't really good. So, we were just counting on that. We were just counting on them not actually being good at it. Which is
 I don't know. That seems like a very high-risk strategy, man. Just hoping they were lying. And now they're not lying. So where do we go from there?

2026-01-20 13:35

Donald Trump accuses the United Kingdom of an act of great stupidity with the cession of the Chagos Islands, London defends itself

I don't know. I'm just trying to keep up with everything. They want to buy Greenland now. But the reasoning behind it is because the UK let go of some land. That's a weird connection, right? It’s like saying, "Well, my neighbor just gave away their old couch, so we have to buy a new car right now." I’m just trying to follow along. I don’t know how one led to the other. It feels like we’re just buying stuff because other people are selling stuff. It's a lot of pressure.

2026-01-20 13:05

In Venezuela, political prisoners are being released piecemeal since the kidnapping of Nicolas Maduro

I saw they released 143 people. And that sounds pretty good, you know? Like, "Hey, we're doing better." But then you look at the rest of the numbers. Eight hundred still in there. It just feels like they're trying to high-five themselves for releasing 143, but they didn't really finish the job. You can't just release a few and call it a day when you still have a whole concert venue full of people waiting. It’s like they’re trying to say, "Look, we let some go," but all you really hear is, "We kept a lot." I don't know who they're trying to fool with that math.

2026-01-20 12:34

Train accident in Andalusia: Spain begins three days of mourning; death toll rises to 41

Thirty-nine people. Thirty-nine. That’s a strange number for a statement. It’s not forty. You’d think they'd just round it to forty, right? Just to make it easier to remember for everybody reading the press release. And they’re all in the hospital. The government released a statement to tell us that. I guess that’s where you go when you’re hurt. I don’t know if you need a specific press release for that part. But then they mention the four children. That changes the whole thing. Four children. You hear that, you go, "Alright, well, I don't know what we're doing here."

2026-01-20 11:34

LIVE, war in Ukraine | New night of Russian bombings: city of Kyiv hit, drone attacks in several parts of the country

I don't know. I saw something about Kyiv. Half the city doesn't have heat. No electricity. In the winter. Now, I don't know about you, but if I lose power for 30 minutes, I'm already in my head about the food in the freezer. I'm pacing. Half a city in the winter? That's a different kind of cold right there. And they got missiles. Drones. People are getting hurt in Dnipro and Rivne. I'm just trying to keep track of where everything is. Seems like a lot going on.

2026-01-20 11:10

LIVE, trade threats from Donald Trump: the US president targets French wines and champagnes; dozens of leaders expected in Davos

So, the World Economic Forum started in Switzerland. I guess they decided they needed to get away from Washington. Because apparently, Washington upset everybody. I don't know what an "offensive" is in economics, but it sounds like they showed up late to the meeting and ate all the good snacks. Now everyone else is just staring at them.

2026-01-20 11:10

In the United States, Donald Trump's deceptive victory to lower drug prices

So, they announced they're lowering drug prices. And I read about it, and it sounds great, right? But then I read the fine print, and it said, for most people, it won't really change anything because insurance already keeps the cost down. So, we just lowered the price on something that wasn't expensive for most people in the first place. It's like announcing a sale on something where everyone already had a coupon. The people who actually needed the sale were just standing in the other room.

2026-01-20 11:09

In Japan, the prime minister is counting on her popularity to call voters to early legislative elections

Okay, so the Japanese Prime Minister, Sanae Takaichi, she’s a busy lady. Apparently she’s really "dynamic" and "firm." Which, I guess, you know, good for her. But "firmness" just sounds like a lot of work. Especially if you have to be firm with, like, China. That sounds exhausting. And now she's got this election coming up, February 8th. And she's calling it a "referendum on her action." That's a lot of pressure to put on a job interview, isn't it? Like, "Hey, here's everything I've done. Vote for me, or I guess I did everything wrong." You hope she didn't leave anything important in the dryer.

2026-01-20 11:09

Israeli bulldozers have begun demolitions at the UNRWA headquarters in East Jerusalem

A guy at the UN said somebody committed a serious violation of international law. Okay. But then he also complained that they violated "privileges and immunities" of the UN. I don't know what "privileges and immunities" means exactly. It sounds like someone cut in line for the coffee machine or took the last donut. And now this guy has to write it down on a form. Seems like a lot of paperwork.

2026-01-20 10:34

The American threat of additional tariffs, effects more political than economic for Europe

I was reading about how Europe is selling stuff to us. They put on those tariffs. I guess they put tariffs on Europe. I don’t really know what a tariff is. Sounds like a tax on stuff you buy from another place. But Europe still sold more stuff. Two percent more. So, I don’t know. Maybe the tariffs weren’t working that great? I guess it did say that wine took a hit. That's a different story. You mess with the wine, you’re hitting where it hurts. You can't mess with the wine. It's a rough business. I don't know what we're doing here.

2026-01-20 10:08

LIVE, war in Ukraine: thousands of Kiev buildings without heat after new Russian attack

You got this thing going on in Kyiv right now where 5,600 buildings lost their heat. And it’s minus 14 degrees outside. That’s cold, first of all. That’s already a lot. I don't know what you do when you wake up and you got a problem for 5,600 buildings. I can barely figure out how to work my own thermostat sometimes. It’s just a lot.

2026-01-20 08:02

In the United States, the cost of living has become a major political issue

So, I was trying to figure out what's going on here. For months, Trump was saying this whole inflation thing, where everything costs more money, he was calling that a hoax. He said it was just made up by the Democrats. But now, with the elections coming up, he’s got all these new plans to help people get more money to deal with... the thing that wasn't real. So, he found a solution to a problem that wasn't happening. Which, honestly, that's pretty efficient. If you can fix things that don't exist, you're ahead of the game.

2026-01-20 07:06

LIVE, Greenland: Donald Trump claims European leaders will not put up much resistance to his plan to take over the Danish autonomous territory

The president is going to Davos. Davos. In Switzerland. To meet with the NATO chief, Mark Rutte. And they’re having a meeting about Greenland. I don't know why we need to fly to Switzerland to talk about Greenland. It seems like a lot of trouble for a place that's mostly ice. I feel like we could just call them. Or maybe just text a picture of it. "Yeah, looks good. No changes needed."

2026-01-20 07:06

Donald Trump's peace council does not inflame world leaders

You know, I was reading about the President inviting a bunch of countries to this committee thing. I think it was like 60 countries or something. And at first, I thought, 'Oh, they're gonna rebuild Gaza, that's nice.' But then I found out the White House changed their mind, and now it's just this... international organization. I'm not really sure what that means, but it sounds like one of those meetings where everyone agrees to meet again next year.

2026-01-20 06:37

Africa, a focus of Donald Trump's obsessions

I don't know. The president, he’s real active over in Africa. He’s pulling funding for all these development programs. Hard to do that, takes a lot of time. Then, at the exact same time, he wants to be a "peacemaker." I feel like you could do one of those jobs. You take the money out of your pocket, put it back in your pocket. Then you tell 'em, "Hey, let's shake hands." Seems like a lot of extra steps.

2026-01-20 06:06

Donald Trump has imposed a culture of impunity, one year after his return

I don't know. The president, he starts a new term, and they say he's just kind of... doing whatever he wants now. Like, if I just decided to stop following the rules, I don't think that would go well for me. I'd get kicked out of Kroger. But he just keeps going. And then he’s just hiring all his friends. Which, I guess if you're the president, you can do that. I'm just sitting here thinking, "Man, I've got to go through three rounds of interviews just to get a job where I don't even know anyone. He's just like, 'Yeah, let's call up my buddies.'" And now, apparently, everybody around him is his buddy. It's like he's built his own little island where everyone agrees with him. I don't know how you get to that level. It just seems like a lot of work to find *that many* friends.

2026-01-20 06:06

Venezuela what would be the environmental cost of the oil production revival wanted by Trump

Have you ever heard of extra-heavy crude oil? I don't know what that means. I guess it’s just heavier than regular crude oil. Like, it’s not just crude oil; it’s *extra* crude. They have it in this place called the Orinoco belt. I heard they have to put a lot of energy into getting it out. I mean, they really have to work for it. And then, once they do get it, the facilities that process it are apparently dilapidated. Dilapidated. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like they’re falling apart. So you got all this energy going in to get the extra-heavy oil out, only for the facilities to just start leaking. And when it leaks, it lets off methane. Methane has a high warming potential. I don't know what a potential for warming is exactly, but it just sounds like a lot of trouble to go through just to warm things up by mistake.

2026-01-20 05:37

Dilnur Reyhan, staunch defender of the Uyghurs' fight against Chinese repression

There’s this sociologist, right? She splits her time between Prague and Paris. That sounds nice. You know, you go to Prague for the history, Paris for the croissants. But she's fighting for this specific group in western China. I just... I'm trying to figure out how that works. You're fighting for people in western China, but you're living in Paris. That's a long drive. I mean, I don't even like driving to the next county for dinner. So, she’s fighting for this specific group. They’re called the Uyghurs. They're Turkic-speaking and Muslim. It's just a lot of specific information to keep track of when you're also trying to remember which country uses the metric system.

2026-01-20 05:37

Nearly five tons of cocaine seized on a boat in French Polynesia

They got a huge shipment going to Australia. The crew was from Latin America, which, okay, makes sense if you look at the map. But then the boat was flying a flag from Togo. Now, I don't know where Togo is, exactly. But I'm pretty sure it's not on the way to Australia from Latin America. That seems like a real detour.

2026-01-20 05:02

In Turkey, Ankara on verge of running out of tap water

I was reading about this place where they’re having a drought. The dams are down to 1.12% of capacity. That's really low. That's like getting to the very bottom of the juice box and having to work for the last little sip. And then I read that the government official in charge said it was actually the local mayor's fault. I'm trying to figure that one out. I didn't realize a mayor had control over the clouds. That's a lot of power for a local guy. If my city council could just move the rain around, we wouldn't have potholes anymore.

2026-01-20 04:02

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un fires his deputy prime minister, an appointment termed accidental mistake

So Kim Jong Un was on a factory tour. You know, walking around, looking at machinery, probably holding a clipboard. And he got real mad at the economic guys. Said they were incompetent. Which, fine. But then he pointed at one of them, Yang Sung-ho, and compared him to a goat. I don't know about that. I mean, a goat. It's not the first thing you think of when you're looking for an insult. What did the goat do? Just eat some stuff, stand on a fence. Seems like a very specific choice. It’s just confusing. I guess I don't know what "goat" means in that context. Is that worse than calling him a dummy? I don't know. But I guess you don't want to be called a goat by Kim Jong Un. That's probably not a good career move.

2026-01-20 03:03

The ICC denounces massacres committed in Darfur by the FSR

I don't know. I was reading this thing about Sudan. It said some paramilitaries—I guess that’s just a fancy word for a group of people that shouldn’t have guns—they were doing some real bad stuff over there. The international court, or whatever it’s called, is looking into it. They said these guys did massacres and then they tried to cover it all up. I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of that. Because when you try to cover something up, usually it’s like... a small lie, or a stain on the couch. You try to hide that. But a bunch of people? And then you try to hide them by digging a bunch of holes? That seems like a lot of extra work. I don't know. If I'm trying to hide something, I'm usually trying to avoid digging. It just feels like a lot of effort just to hide something that big. Seems like a lot of trouble to go through for something that probably won't stay hidden.

2026-01-20 01:32

LIVE, Greenland: planes from a US-Canadian military force are to arrive soon in Greenland

You know, I was reading about the North American Aerospace Defense Command, and they're sending some military planes to this place called Pituffik. Apparently, they're gonna be doing some stuff that was planned a while back. I'm not really sure what that means, but it sounds important. I guess they just needed some extra help up there in... wherever Pituffik is. I had to look it up, it's in Greenland. Yeah, that's a real place. Anyway, they're just gonna be doing their thing, supporting some activities. I hope they packed warm clothes.

2026-01-20 01:03

LIVE, war in Ukraine: the Kremlin envoy, Kirill Dmitriev, is to meet Tuesday with Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff on the sidelines of the Davos Forum

You know, I was reading about this meeting the other day, and apparently, it's to finalize some kind of 20-point peace plan. Which, I mean, that sounds like a lot of points. I've got a to-do list with like 5 things on it, and I'm already overwhelmed. So, Washington is backing this plan, and Kiev is all, "Yeah, we're 90% done." But then Moscow is just over here going, "Hold up, not so fast." They're still arguing about some land in the Donetsk area. I don't know, it's all just a little confusing to me. I mean, can't they just, like, compromise or something? It's not like they're trying to decide where to go for dinner or anything. Although, have you ever tried to get a group of people to agree on a restaurant? That's basically impossible.

2026-01-19 23:35

In Kabul, the Islamic State organization claims an attack in a Chinese restaurant that killed at least seven people

An explosion happened at a Chinese restaurant. And they mentioned it was on a street known for its flower vendors. I guess I'm just confused why they keep bringing up the flowers. I'm trying to figure out what happened at the restaurant, and now I'm thinking about flower vendors. Are the flower vendors part of the problem or just... there? Is it a good street for flowers? Because that makes it even worse.

2026-01-19 23:35

Syria: clashes erupted near Raqqa between the army and Kurdish forces

So they announced a ceasefire. And then, the next day, they were fighting again. It just seems like
 that's not how a ceasefire works. It’s too quick. Did they get the memo? Or did they just think "ceasefire" meant "fire harder, because we're almost done here"?

2026-01-19 22:04

LIVE, Greenland: Denmark and Nuuk propose creation of a NATO monitoring mission

J'ai entendu dire que les choses pourraient peut-ĂȘtre finalement se mettre en place, ce qui est sympa, je suppose. Le ministre de la dĂ©fense danois a rencontrĂ© le secrĂ©taire gĂ©nĂ©ral de l'Alliance atlantique et maintenant, nous avons... eh bien, nous avons des mots, en tout cas. Un cadre, c'est ce qu'ils appellent ça. Je ne sais pas, peut-ĂȘtre que c'est comme une boĂźte Ă  outils, mais au lieu d'outils, il y a juste des idĂ©es Ă  l'intĂ©rieur. Enfin, j'espĂšre que ça marchera, pour eux, en tout cas.

2026-01-19 20:36

Fires in Chile: the fires remain out of control; at least 19 dead

They got these big fires going on, right? And they’re saying the wind is moving at 70 kilometers an hour. Now, I don’t know what a kilometer is, exactly, but 70 of anything moving that fast just seems like a lot. It’s just
 it’s doing too much. You know? Like, I guess if it’s hot outside, stuff catches fire. But then you add that much wind, and it just seems like an overreaction from nature. I don't know how you even put that out. You try to spray water on it, and the water just goes to the next state over. I guess you just gotta wait for the wind to get tired.

2026-01-19 20:36

Train accident in Spain: after the collision, Pedro Sanchez promises full disclosure on the tragedy that killed 40

Now, look. They’re investigating this train accident. And the authorities are saying there were “strange circumstances.” I mean, I didn’t know there were *non-strange* circumstances for a train crash. Like, "Oh, that one makes sense. That's how it normally goes." It’s just
 a lot. Three days of mourning. You gotta figure, after the first day, you've probably done all the mourning you can possibly do. It’s hard to keep that energy up for 72 hours straight.

2026-01-19 20:35

Reno, small town of Nevada, has learned to live under Donald Trump

So I guess I was in Reno, Nevada, and everyone out there is just totally divided on this billionaire guy being back in the White House. Like, really split. Half the town is mad about the money stuff, half are mad about the mining projects, and then apparently the border police are involved in Reno somehow. I don't know why, but they are. It’s just everyone in Reno trying to figure out how they feel about all the same stuff, exactly how they voted. It sounds like a fun place to go to dinner.

2026-01-19 20:07

In Kabul, an explosion in a Chinese restaurant killed at least seven

Well, an explosion happened. In Afghanistan. At a Chinese restaurant. On a street known for flower vendors. I'm just trying to figure out if you're going for a bouquet or General Tso's chicken. Because one of those seems like a lot to go through on a Tuesday.

2026-01-19 20:07

Kosovo: the election commission orders a complete recount of the legislative election ballots

You know, I was reading about this election, and apparently, Vetëvendosje! won. That's the party of the current prime minister, Albin Kurti. They got over 51% of the vote, which is a lot. But here's the thing, the election commission said there were a lot of mistakes when they recounted the votes. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to do it. It's like me trying to balance my checkbook, I'm gonna make some mistakes, but I'm not running a country. Anyway, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens next. Maybe they'll just recount them again, or maybe they'll just flip a coin. I don't know, I'm just a guy from Tennessee.

2026-01-19 20:06

Train accident in Spain: what we know

You know, I was reading about this train accident in Spain the other day. Apparently, two of those high-speed trains, TGVs, they collided and... it's just crazy. I mean, 39 people didn't make it, and 123 were hurt. That's wild. And now they're having three days of national mourning. I'm not really sure what that entails, but I guess it's like a big moment of silence or something. I don't know, it's just weird to think about. Trains, right? You get on, you think you're good, and then... I don't know, it's just strange.

2026-01-19 19:04

Ghost District, by Rithy Panh and Christophe Bataille: necessary return to torture center S21

A Cambodian filmmaker keeps revisiting all the stuff that happened with the Khmer Rouge. He says he's doing it to resist silence. I don't know, I just try to resist silence by turning the TV on, maybe. He's putting a lot more work into it.

2026-01-19 18:39

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Poland plans to deliver Mig-29 fighter jets to Kiev

You know, I was reading about the Ukrainian ambassador in Warsaw, and apparently, he's hoping for a delivery in the first quarter of 2026. Now, I'm not sure what's being delivered, but I'm guessing it's not pizza. Maybe it's a care package or something. But in return, Ukraine is gonna give Poland some stuff to help them with their drone game. I mean, who doesn't need better drones, right? It's like, I need a better lawnmower, but Poland needs better drones. Priorities, I guess.

2026-01-19 18:39

More than 160 Christians kidnapped in attack on two churches, in northern Nigeria

I was reading about this thing. I don't know if you saw it. It was in Nigeria, right? Some armed gangs. And they went after a couple of churches. On a Sunday. I don't know. I'm just trying to figure out the timing on that. It feels like if you’re trying to do a high-impact, covert operation, you don't pick Sunday morning. The parking situation alone. That's just terrible planning. I guess they're not worried about the church traffic.

2026-01-19 18:06

Pakistan: at least 21 dead in a fire that ravaged a shopping mall in Karachi this weekend

You know, I was reading about this mall in Karachi, and I think it's in Pakistan... or is it India? Wait, no, it's definitely Pakistan. Anyway, it's one of those really busy malls, like the ones we have here, but, you know, in Pakistan. So, there was a fire on Saturday, which is just a normal day, right? And now they're trying to figure out what's going on with all these people who are missing. Like, 60 people just... vanished. I mean, I've been to some busy malls in my time, but that's just crazy. I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that there was a fire or that they're still looking for 60 people. That's like, an entire high school basketball team, just gone.

2026-01-19 17:36

Faced with American pressure, the Caribbean states forced to bow to the law of the strongest

So you got these small islands. They're just... sitting there, right between the U.S. and Venezuela. And apparently, for a whole year, they were arguing with Trump about something. I don't know what. But they finally just said, "You know what? Fine. We give up." I guess after a year, you just get tired of holding out. You just want to nap.

2026-01-19 17:03

Gaza: candidates for a permanent seat on the peace council will have to pay more than 1 billion dollars, according to a document obtained by AFP

I saw this article about a new peace council they’re trying to put together. And I guess countries want to get in on this, get a seat at the table, you know. But they have these options, and one of the options for a permanent seat... it says you gotta pay "more than one billion dollars in cash." In cash. I don't know where you get a billion dollars in cash. I assume you don't keep that at the house. I'm thinking you're gonna have to make a lot of trips to the ATM for that. And if you don't want to buy the permanent seat, you can get a three-year term, and maybe renew it later. So it's like a high-end membership. You can either buy the permanent one for a billion dollars, or just try out the three-year term first and see if you like it. I don't know. Seems like a thing.

2026-01-19 17:03

Greenland: Danish far right mired in contradictions

Alright. So I was looking at the news and saw this story about a politician from Denmark. Morten Messerschmidt. Sounds like a character on a show. He went down to Mar-a-Lago in Florida, in January. To visit Donald Trump. And then he went back home and criticized his government for trying to maintain a dialogue with the United States. It just... I don't know. You just came from there. You can't just fly all that way to talk to somebody, and then tell everybody else they shouldn't. It just doesn't make sense.

2026-01-19 15:04

The NASA budget saved, Trump administration's drastic cuts rejected

So they're talking about the space budget. And the White House wants to cut a quarter of it. Twenty-five percent. A quarter, that's a lot. So then they argue about it. They vote. They go back and forth. And they finally agree on a cut. It ended up being one point six percent. I don't know. If I asked my wife to cut a quarter out of the grocery budget and she came back with one point six... I just feel like we've wasted a lot of time. Like we're just talking. It’s just hard to follow.

2026-01-19 14:38

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Russian army bombs cities of Kharkiv and Odessa, and advances in northern Pokrovsk

So, I saw where they said they dropped some bombs over near Kharkiv. But they called them "guided aerial bombs." Which, I guess, that’s better than just throwing them, right? Like you’d hope they were guided. It also said thirty-one thousand homes lost power in Odessa. Thirty-one thousand. I lose power for ten minutes at my house, and I panic. I’m walking around looking for the flashlights, pretending like I know what I'm doing. Thirty-one thousand people are just sitting there in the dark, wondering who ate the last Pop-Tart. And then they showed this map of a place called Pokrovsk, where only a few neighborhoods are left. And they know this because of something called "DeepState mapping." Which sounds like an app. Like, "download DeepState mapping to find out which neighborhoods are still open for business." It’s like Waze, but instead of avoiding traffic, you're avoiding soldiers. "Turn left at the next street, avoid incoming fire." That’s a tough route to take.

2026-01-19 14:37

Train accident in Spain: what we know

I've been watching this thing on TV, a train derailed. It's in the afternoon, so you know people are trying to get places. And they brought in all this equipment to lift up these overturned cars. And they said the casualty count could change. I mean, I don't know if you need a whole press conference for that. It seems like if you lift up a train car that's been lying on its side, you're probably going to find out some new stuff. That's just a high-probability situation right there. The Transport Minister said it was "extremely strange." And I was thinking, I don't know what makes one derailment more strange than another. Like, what’s the baseline strange? Is regular strange when a train just falls off the tracks? And extremely strange, maybe it fell off and then started doing a little dance? I just feel like derailing at all puts you in the strange category. I'd like to see the sliding scale they're working with.

2026-01-19 14:37

The Davos Forum cancels invitation of Iranian minister Abbas Araghtchi due to regime's crackdown on protesters

So, Mr. Araghtchi was supposed to participate on Tuesday. With Roula Khalaf. I don't know who either of those people are. It sounds like a lot of serious business for a Tuesday morning. And she works for the "Financial Times." I just hope it went okay, whatever "participate" means in that context.

2026-01-19 13:37

LIVE, train accident in Spain: the non-final toll is 39 dead, overturned cars to be lifted soon

A high-speed train derailed over in Spain. Went off the tracks. Which, I mean, the whole point of a train is that it stays *on* the tracks. That’s the entire technology. And then, get this, it hit another train coming the other way. I feel like you’d have to try pretty hard to get a train to hit another train. There’s all that space. You’re not trying to merge. Now they're saying they expect to find more bodies when they get around to clearing all the wreckage. It’s just
 not ideal. You’re hoping to find suitcases, maybe a few forgotten snacks. Not bodies. That's just a bad day for train travel. A really bad day.

2026-01-19 13:37

In Uganda, a low-key but very influential army in the Great Lakes region

I don't know much about countries. I try to stay out of it. But they said this one country, right? They said it's poor. But then they said their army is really powerful. Like, *powerful* powerful. I guess they're sending them all over the place—Congo, Somalia. They're doing this big world tour. And the president, he's basically like, "This isn't just an army... this is a business." So you're poor, but your business is just... soldiers. That's a weird setup. I'm just trying to figure out how that works. You can't afford groceries, but you can afford to fly people to Somalia? It's just... I guess you gotta prioritize.

2026-01-19 13:36

The value of gold reaches new heights after Donald Trump's economic threats

So I guess things are getting pretty tense between the US and Europe. And when that happens, the stock markets get all shaky. The dollar starts acting weird. And everyone decides, "You know what we need right now? Gold. We need a bunch of shiny metal." I don't know how that became the solution. Like, if the entire economy collapses, are we really going to be trading a little rock for gas? Because I feel like gas is gonna win that fight. I'm probably just gonna stick with canned goods.

2026-01-19 13:04

In Antwerp, a fossil fuel-free plastics project relocated to China, a painful sign for Europe

So there’s this company, Vioneo. They’re Danish, which, you know, is far away. They canceled $1.5 billion. I don't know what $1.5 billion looks like. That’s more money than I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I could count that high without losing track. They were going to put this $1.5 billion in Belgium, on an industrial wasteland. A wasteland. I guess you get a good deal on a wasteland. You save a lot of money right there. But now the local people are upset. They’re blaming Europe because they didn’t support this project. So the company canceled it, but it’s Europe’s fault for not supporting the thing that didn't happen. I think maybe the company just changed their mind. They probably looked at the industrial wasteland and were like, "I don't know about this."

2026-01-19 12:04

Vladimir Putin was invited by the United States to join the peace council for the Gaza Strip, according to the Kremlin

So, I saw where Donald Trump invited some people to join this group. To oversee the plan for stopping the war over there. The names were Giorgia Meloni and Recep Tayyip Erdogan. I don’t know. It sounds like a pretty big job. I don’t know what their qualifications are. It just seems like a lot of pressure to put on a group of people he just picked for a committee.

2026-01-19 12:04

The necessary showdown against Donald Trump

I don't know anything about global politics. I really don't. But I was reading about it, and it sounds like... if you want to be heard, you just have to yell back. The president... I guess he only listens if you stand up to him. And Europe... I don’t know. Apparently, they have all the stuff they need to be powerful. They have the weapons and the money, and they just don't do anything with it. They just sit there. It's like they're saving it for a rainy day. But it's already raining.

2026-01-19 11:37

LIVE, Greenland: Donald Trump told the Norwegian prime minister not to feel obligated to think exclusively about peace because he did not receive the Nobel Prize

So the Norwegian Prime Minister, Jonas Stþre, said he got a text message from the U.S. President. And he said he’s had to remind him multiple times lately that the Nobel Peace Prize actually isn't awarded by Norway. I guess the President thought he was getting extra credit on his final project or something.

2026-01-19 11:36

In Syria, the end of the Kurdish autonomy dream in Rojava

So I saw this story about a guy. Mazloum Abdi. He runs something called the FDS. And he had to sign an agreement with this other guy, Ahmed Al-Charaa. It sounds like Mazloum was trying to hold on to some cities, Tabqa and Rakka, but then some other group just came in and took them. So he just signed the deal. It basically said, "Okay, we're giving the Northeast back." It sounds like he went to a meeting where he was supposed to keep his property, but instead, he just ended up buying a timeshare. And now he’s got to explain it to his wife.

2026-01-19 11:36

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Russian army bombs the cities of Kharkiv and Odessa

So they used guided aerial bombs around Kharkiv. I don't know who guides them. But 31,000 homes lost electricity in Odessa. That’s a lot of people looking for flashlights. I guess you just hope it doesn't happen during a cold snap. That’s a bad day.

2026-01-19 11:10

Iran Crackdown: Supreme Leader Admits Several Thousand Deaths for First Time

*This guy in Iran, Khamenei. He’s blaming President Trump for all the trouble. He said Trump was "openly encouraging troublemakers." I don't know what that looks like. I picture Trump just on a street corner, giving a little speech, "Go on, make some trouble. Go make trouble." And then just, I guess, they listen to him?* *He said Trump was encouraging "troublemakers." I mean, "troublemakers." That's what my grandma called me when I put ice cubes down my brother's shirt. I just... I don't know how you blame a President for being a troublemaker.*

2026-01-19 11:09

The economy of China is marked by deep imbalances, with production and exports on the rise, and consumption and birth rate in decline

So I was reading the news, and they said the country grew by five percent last year. Five percent. That’s a good number, right? Five percent. And they said the reason it grew so much is because the factories were selling a bunch of stuff overseas. Which makes sense. You sell more stuff, you make more money. But here’s the thing that confuses me. They also said that the Chinese, who usually buy a lot of this stuff, they’re having a real estate problem right now. So they’re actually buying less. So
 how did we grow by five percent when one of our main buyers bought less than they did before? Did somebody else buy *more* to make up for the less? It just feels like one of those math problems where they give you two numbers, and then the answer contradicts the numbers. I don't know. Five percent is five percent, I guess. I just try to figure out how we get there sometimes.

2026-01-19 10:37

Train accident in Spain: rescue footage from the scene

So, I saw this news report, and a bunch of people died in this train derailment. It’s terrible, obviously. But the part that confused me—and I guess everyone else—was what happened. The Minister of Transport, Oscar Puente, he came out and said it was "difficult to explain." And I get it, because the train derailed on a straight part of the track. A straight part. And they had just renovated this section. So, you renovate the track, you make it perfectly straight, and it still manages to derail. I don't know. That’s like renovating your house and putting in a straight hallway, and then falling over while walking down it. You're just going straight. What do you do with that?

2026-01-19 10:37

Tension between the EU and the United States over Greenland worries financial markets

So the market over in Europe, it started in the red. Which, I guess that means bad. Red usually means bad, right? Like when you see a red light, you stop. It's because of these "trade tensions." I don't really know what those are. But everyone's worried about 'em. And when they get worried, they go buy gold and silver. Gold and silver are apparently doing great right now. They're a "safe haven." I don't really understand how gold works, but it seems like it just sits there waiting for everyone to panic so it can feel important for a little while.

2026-01-19 10:03

LIVE, train accident in Spain: at least 39 dead and over 120 injured, a toll that is not final

So, a train in Spain derails. Not great, right? But then, *after* it derails, it hits another train coming the other way. I feel like a train going off the tracks should be able to just coast to a stop. Maybe hit a field or something soft. But this one, it's like, "I'm not finished. There's another one right here." It's a two-part collision. I don't know if Renfe and Iryo had a fight or something, but that seems personal. That's not just an accident. That’s a commitment.

2026-01-19 10:03

LIVE, Greenland: latest news and reactions

Trump made a threat. And then the head of the EU, Ursula von der Leyen, came out and said, "We are firmly committed to defending the sovereignty of Greenland." I just don't know how Greenland got involved in the conversation. I feel like I missed the first part of the meeting, and everyone else knows what Greenland did, but I'm just standing there going, "Wait, did Greenland threaten Trump back?" I don't know what Greenland did.

2026-01-19 07:34

Jewish and Israeli musicians, facing hostility that shrinks their artistic space

I feel like ever since October 7th, everything's just gotten more complicated. Difficulties are multiplying. I don't know what's going on, but it feels like you can't just buy a thing anymore. Every decision's a whole thing. Boycotts, cancellations. I just want to get some milk, but now I'm worried about accidentally getting involved in something I don't understand. And that's pretty much everything right now.

2026-01-19 07:04

LIVE, war in Ukraine: the latest on the situation

You know, I was reading about these guys from Kiev who went to the US to talk to some American representatives. And I'm thinking, what's the deal with that? So, they're having these "substantial" discussions with Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner. That's a pretty big meeting, right? But then I found out they're gonna keep talking at this economic forum in Davos, Switzerland. I mean, I've heard of Davos, but I'm not really sure what goes on there. Is it like a big conference for rich people to talk about money? Anyway, one of the Ukrainian negotiators, Rustem Umerov, said they're gonna keep having these meetings. I guess that's good, but I'm still not really sure what they're talking about. Maybe they'll figure it out in Switzerland.

2026-01-19 07:04

In London, the former ambassador of Burma is resisting

You know, I was reading about this guy Kyaw Zwar Minn, and he's been living in this London house for almost five years now. But here's the thing, he's not supposed to be living there anymore. There's someone else who's supposed to be in that house, sent by the military junta. I don't know, it's like he's refusing to move out of his apartment, but instead of a landlord, it's a whole military government. Anyway, they're having a trial on January 19th, so I guess we'll see who gets to keep the house.

2026-01-19 06:35

US isolation, ready for trade war with Europe to get Greenland

I don’t know. I guess I’m just trying to figure out why we’re worried about eight countries. Not all of them, just eight. If you’re gonna go after something, just go after the whole thing. Eight just feels like you got tired halfway through. Like when you start cleaning the garage and then just stop when you hit the bikes. And now everyone’s worried about an agreement in 2025. 2025. I don't know what I'm doing next Tuesday. How am I supposed to worry about 2025? I’m worried about where I left my keys. And they’re saying this is distracting from daily life. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm just trying to figure out how to get my kid to stop eating cereal on the couch without making a scene. We’re talking about "conquest" and I'm just trying to make it to the weekend. I just want less chaos. That’s all I want. Less chaos. I guess.

2026-01-19 06:03

Presidential election in Portugal: socialist Antonio Jose Seguro in the lead after the first round against the far right

I don't know if second place is good or bad anymore. The polls said he was going to get beat in the next round anyway, but he came in second, and now everyone’s calling it a breakthrough. I thought second place just meant you lost to first place. But apparently, it’s a big deal if you get second when they thought you were going to lose later. So, I guess that's like winning, but not winning. I'm still trying to figure out if I should be happy or disappointed for him.

2026-01-19 05:38

In Spain, the causes of the deadly train collision remain unknown: The impact was terrible

You know, I was reading about this train in Spain, and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. So, it's one of those high-speed trains, right? And it just derails out of nowhere. I mean, I've had my fair share of crazy train rides, but this is on a whole different level. Apparently, it was going along just fine, and then it jumps off the tracks near some place called Adamuz. And if that wasn't enough, it then proceeds to hit another train that's just chillin' on the other side of the tracks, going the opposite direction. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's not how trains are supposed to work. The weird part is that the transportation minister said it was a "very strange" derailment. You think? I mean, I'm no train expert, but I'm pretty sure trains aren't supposed to just jump off the tracks and start smashing into other trains. That's just not a thing. It's just really sad, you know? At least 21 people lost their lives, and it's just... I don't know, it's just one of those things that makes you go, "Huh, I guess you can't take anything for granted, even a train ride."

2026-01-19 05:38

Fires in Chile: at least 19 dead and over 50,000 people evacuated in the south of the country

I saw a headline about a fire down in Chile. A real big one. The article said it was caused by high temperatures and strong winds. It's like the fire was trying to stay small, and nature was just standing there going, "Nope, we got this." And it was happening in a place called Ñuble. Ñuble. I feel like if you live in Ñuble, you probably don't want to see a headline about "fires in Ñuble." That just sounds like a very specific problem for a very specific place. It makes you wonder, "Why are all these things happening here?"

2026-01-19 05:38

Olivier Mantei, general manager of the Paris Philharmonic: If the only fear of scandal makes us back down, we will reduce the scope of culture

Man, I saw this thing about a concert. It was the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra. And some people showed up to protest it. It happened three times during the show. It’s hard enough to get people to sit through a classical music concert in the first place. You’re trying to listen to violins and cellos, and then suddenly you’ve got international politics happening in the aisle. The director of the place said you shouldn't reduce the artists to the politics of their home country. And I get that. I bet the guy playing the oboe is just trying to make a living. He probably just wants to go home and eat dinner. He probably doesn’t know what's going on either.

2026-01-19 05:38

Feral goats, headache of the Aeolian Islands

I saw a thing about an archipelago where they just had too many goats. It was a real problem. Hundreds of them. Just eating stuff. So they finally put them on a boat and moved them to Sicily. And the article said the people were relieved, but also tense about it. It's like, you finally got rid of the goats. Why are you tense? Maybe they’re just worried about where those goats are going to end up next. Probably back on their island.

2026-01-19 05:03

In Guatemala, the president declares a state of siege after deadly riots in prisons and the death of eight police officers

They passed a new law to give the authorities more power. Because the gangs took over three prisons. I thought the prison was already the place where you had all the power. I guess they just didn’t have the specific power to stop a takeover. They probably had to call in and ask for that one. "Yeah, we need a code 10-A, a 'Don't let the gangs take over the building' code."

2026-01-19 05:03

Presidential election in Portugal: socialist Antonio Jose Seguro leads first round, far-right candidate qualified

I heard about this election over in Portugal. They counted almost all the votes—95% of them. And the guy who got the most votes got 30.6 percent. The next guy got 24.2. And now they gotta vote again. It’s just wild to me. It's like you’re doing all this work, you count everything, and then you look at the results and go, "Nope, let’s do it all over again." I don’t know, it just feels like we already figured it out. Just pick one. That seems like the easiest way to do it. But they're making them go back and redo the whole thing, which is just... a lot of work. For something you already did. I guess maybe it makes sure nobody feels left out. I don't know. I'm just confused by it.

2026-01-19 00:01

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Ukraine's top negotiator reports substantive discussions with the United States on security guarantees and economic recovery

Well, here's the deal. Umerov... I don't know. He called some people in America, told 'em about the electricity situation in Ukraine. Which, okay, I get that's important. But here's where it gets weird for me. He said they're gonna keep talking about it at this thing called Davos, in Switzerland. I don't know what Davos is. I don't know why all the big meetings have to be in Switzerland. It feels like a lot of travel just to let someone know the lights are out. It feels like you could just send an email about that. I guess it's a big deal if you have to go all the way to Switzerland to discuss it. I just... I don't know. Seems like a lot of steps.

2026-01-18 23:01

In Spain, a train accident in Andalusia leaves at least five dead

So I guess I heard about this train thing in Spain, in Andalusia. And they said people were injured. Which, okay, that happens. But they specifically said passengers were still stuck *in* the wagons. I just keep thinking about that. You buy a ticket to go somewhere. And then you just... get stuck where you started. I guess the train just decided it wanted to keep you. It’s like getting on a ride and then the ride says, "No, we're not moving. This is your life now." I don't know what you call that. It doesn't seem very efficient.

2026-01-18 22:32

In Syria, President Ahmed Al-Charaa announces a ceasefire agreement with the leader of the Kurdish forces

I saw where they signed this thing where they’re integrating the Syrian Democratic Forces and the Kurdish security forces into the Syrian ministries. And they’re handing over provinces, too. Deir Ezzor and Raqqa. Now, wait a minute. The Kurds have control of those right now. So, I guess they’re giving them back to the government. You know, you gotta think about the logistics of that. I don't know where everybody's standing in line for all this. It seems like a lot to keep track of.

2026-01-18 19:04

Threats of customs tariffs: United Kingdom raises tone in unusual manner

We’re trying to buy Greenland now. With tariffs. I thought tariffs were something you put on, like, socks. Not for buying a whole country. The UK got involved, and they said it was “totally unacceptable.” Which is a strong word for the UK. So now their Prime Minister, he’s trying to be nice, but everyone around him is telling him, “Stop being nice. You gotta be mad now.”

2026-01-18 18:42

Iran: an attack on Ayatollah Ali Khamenei would be equivalent to a total war against the nation, warns the Iranian president

I just saw where Trump said Iran needs a new leader. And I just
 I don't know how you do that. Like, where do you find a new leader for a country? Do you put up a sign? Do you just put an ad on LinkedIn? I bet that application process is intense. I feel like finding a new leader for a country is a lot harder than finding a new babysitter, and finding a babysitter is already a nightmare. * * * *Alternative (Slightly different angle):* I saw where Trump said Iran needs a new leader. That just sounds like a lot of pressure. I can barely get my kids to decide where to eat dinner. Now I have to think about finding a leader for a whole country. I just hope they have a good benefits package. That seems like a really stressful job. * * * *Alternative (More direct confusion/relatability):* I guess Trump said it's time to find a new leader in Iran. And I just thought, where do you even start with that? I get overwhelmed trying to find a new brand of toothpaste. I can't imagine trying to find a whole new leader for a country. I hope they don't have to fill out those long forms. I hate filling out forms.

2026-01-18 18:04

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Russia continues its attacks on energy infrastructure as the country faces freezing temperatures

I saw something about Moscow where they cut the power. And it’s really cold over there. Like, minus twenty degrees. That’s a lot of degrees below freezing. You need heat for that. That’s not just an option. That’s like a survival thing. You’re not just chilly. You’re in trouble. I don't know. If I was going to mess with someone when it's that cold, I'd probably take their remote first. Let them look for it. But heat? That feels like a commitment.

2026-01-18 18:03

Fires in Chile: at least 15 dead and 50,000 people evacuated in the south of the country

Nineteen fires. That’s a lot of fires. That’s almost twenty fires. I don't know who’s keeping track of the exact number, but apparently, they’re fighting nineteen of them right now. Twelve of them are in Ñuble and Biobio. I don't know what kind of names those are, but they sound like places where fires just happen. They’re about five hundred kilometers south of Santiago. Which means somebody had to drive five hundred kilometers just to find the fire and then drive five hundred kilometers back. Seems like a lot of traveling for a fire. Just keep fighting them, I guess. That’s what they’re doing. Nineteen. It’s a lot.

2026-01-18 16:33

In the face of the threat of new Trump taxes, Europeans ready to retaliate, between new customs duties and anti-coercion measures

Europe is having a big meeting this Sunday. They’re trying to figure out how to respond to the US because we keep doing these tariffs. And apparently, Washington is trying to conquer Greenland. I guess they're worried about a repeat of a "paralyzed Europe." I don't know what that looks like. I hope they just meant they're worried about falling asleep during the meeting, because that seems pretty likely on a Sunday. It feels like a lot of trouble over ice.

2026-01-18 15:05

A Minneapolis, a far-right influencer faces off against anti-ICE protesters

Jake Lang was trying to plan something on a Saturday in Minneapolis, near City Hall. I guess he had an idea. He was trying to get a group together. But then, a completely different group showed up. And the first group was talking about something, and the second group was talking about something else, and neither group liked what the other group was saying. So, it turned into one of those situations where nobody actually accomplished what they set out to do, but everybody showed up anyway. It just sounds like a very confusing Saturday morning.

2026-01-18 14:33

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Russia continues its attacks on energy infrastructure

So, Moscow got really cold. Like, negative 20 degrees cold. And the power grid, it just gave out. And thousands lost their heating. You hear that, and you go, "Wait, the cold caused the power to go out, which means they can't turn on the heat... to fight the cold." I feel like we should have figured out how to beat winter by now. It’s just like a flawed system. You know, you go to war with winter, and your best weapon just says, "No, I'm done."

2026-01-18 13:33

Fires in Chile: about 20,000 people evacuated in the south of the country

So, they got these firefighters out there. They're trying to put out 19 different fires at the same time. Nineteen. And most of them—12 of the 19—are in just two provinces down there. Ñuble and Biobio. I don't know what's going on in those places, but it seems like those two provinces are just having a really rough day.

2026-01-18 11:37

In Libya, the emergency response to Sudanese refugees, a casualty of the decline in international aid

I was reading about this town in Libya called Koufra. It’s way out in the desert, close to the border, and all of a sudden, its population doubled. Just doubled. Overnight, practically. I mean, that would be hard here, right? If your town just doubled, everything would be backed up. The grocery store, the DMV, traffic—you'd have to figure out where everyone's going to park. Well, in Koufra, a bunch of people showed up running from some fighting nearby, and the aid they're getting is described as "meager." Meager. I've heard that word, but I don't think I've ever used it in a sentence. "How's the sandwich?" "It's meager." And now, they're threatening to cut the meager assistance. So, you're going from meager assistance to what? Less-than-meager? You know, when you have a little bit of something, and then somebody decides to cut a little bit more off the little bit you had. It's just strange logistics. It's like, "Here's your cup of water, but we're going to cut it in half now. So, here's half a cup of water, but we're going to cut *that* in half." Eventually, you're just looking at an empty cup, aren't you? I just don't know why we can't just keep giving them the meager stuff. It’s already meager. It's like trying to cut a small amount smaller. It's hard to do.

2026-01-18 11:36

The Syrian army claims the capture of the strategic city of Tabqa, held by the Kurds

So, this guy Ahmed Al-Charaa, he’s doing this thing. And Washington and Paris, they called him up. They were like, "Hey, we need you to stop." And he just kept going. I don't know what they expected. Like, "We're asking you very nicely to maybe not continue your offensive." He’s just expanding into new areas. He’s headed toward Raqqa. It’s like when you’re winning a game of checkers and somebody just tells you, "You know what? Maybe just stop now. No hard feelings, just stop winning." And you just keep going. You're like, "I'm not stopping. I'm taking all the pieces." I don't understand how this works.

2026-01-18 09:31

Gaza: two reports accuse Israel of deliberately destroying the reproductive health system of the enclave

You know, I was reading about this study from some doctors' groups, Physicians For Human Rights, and they're looking into how this conflict is affecting people's ability to, you know, start a family. And I saw that in Gaza, the birth rate just dropped 41% in the first six months of 2025 compared to the same time in 2022. That's a big deal, right? I mean, I'm no expert, but it seems like when people are worried about their safety, having kids might not be the first thing on their mind. It's just weird to think about how something like a conflict can affect something as personal as that.

2026-01-18 08:32

Between Venezuela and the United States, one hundred years of a troubled oil history

It's just funny how these things work out. You know, you go from being strategic allies because of oil—which makes sense, you need oil—and then somewhere along the way, you go from strategic allies to being a target. It’s like you start out with a friend because they’re good at building things. Then you get mad at them because they like a different kind of pizza, and now the friendship is over. I don’t know, it just feels like the oil part should keep the relationship going. Like, just focus on the oil. The pizza, or whatever the other stuff is, just let it go.

2026-01-18 07:34

In China, the smartwatch for kids and its drawbacks

You know, I was reading about these smartwatches for kids, and I'm just... confused. Apparently, they're super popular among parents, but they're like tiny little social media platforms on their wrists. So, they're basically tracking their kids' every move, and also giving them a way to connect with friends. I mean, I guess that's just what we needed, right? More ways for kids to feel pressure to be social and stare at screens all day. (pauses) I don't know, maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but it seems like we're just making it easier for kids to be addicted to screens. And the weird thing is, it's the parents who are buying these things for them. It's like, we're essentially saying, "Hey, kid, here's a device that'll let you talk to your friends and track your every move... and also, by the way, try not to get too addicted to it, okay?" (chuckles) Yeah, that's gonna work out great.

2026-01-18 07:03

In Portugal, a presidential election full of uncertainties

Forty years. They did something for forty years, and now they’re changing it. Now they’re going to have this two-round election. Two rounds. I don’t know why we need two rounds. The first round, I feel like, is usually enough. You figure out what’s happening in the first five minutes. But apparently, everyone broke apart. The old stuff disappeared, and now everyone’s just standing there with their own little piece, and I guess they just decided to make it harder on everyone involved. Sounds exhausting.

2026-01-18 06:37

From Monroe to Trump: a look back at two centuries of Washington's interference in Latin America

It’s weird, isn’t it? America, we’ve been running this neighborhood since 1823. That’s a long time. We just kinda show up and say, "We’re in charge here." And for the longest time, everyone just nodded and went with it. Now China shows up. Like, "Hey, what's up?" And Trump’s like, "Oh, we gotta do that dominating thing again." I thought we already were dominating. Did we take a nap? Did we just forget where we put the remote control for the continent? I don't know, it's confusing. It's a lot of work to keep up with who's in charge of what.

2026-01-18 06:37

LIVE, war in Ukraine: 20-year-old woman killed in strike on Kharkiv

You know, I was reading about this thing that happened, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Apparently, there was a young woman who passed away after a drone attack on a house. That's just...wow. I don't know, it's just really sad. And then I saw that some Ukrainian negotiators are in the US, talking to some big shots like Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner. I'm thinking, "Wait, isn't Jared Kushner the president's son-in-law?" Yeah, that's right. So, they're trying to figure out a way to end this conflict with Russia. I hope they can make it work, you know? It's just a lot to take in. I mean, have you ever tried to negotiate something with someone, and it's just not going well? Like, you're trying to return a pair of shoes, and the person behind the counter is just not having it. That's kind of what I imagine these international negotiations are like, but instead of shoes, it's, you know, world peace. No pressure, right?

2026-01-18 06:04

Kiev, facing the militarization of winter: We're freezing, but we're not giving up

You know, I was reading about Kiev the other day, and I'm thinking, 'Man, it's cold there.' Like, -15 degrees cold. That's just not fun. And to make matters worse, the Russians are bombing their energy stuff every day, so people don't have electricity or heat. But here's the weird part: it's not really getting to them. I mean, I'd be pretty grumpy if I had to pick between freezing and having a nice warm coffee. But I guess when you're used to it, you just kinda... deal with it? I don't know, maybe I'm just not tough like the people in Kiev. I'm pretty sure I'd be the first one to complain if my Netflix didn't work because of a bombing.

2026-01-18 05:36

The United States says it has killed an Al-Qaida affiliated leader in new strikes in Syria

You know, I was reading about this guy Bilal Hasan Al-Jasim, and apparently the US army thinks he's connected to someone who did something pretty bad. Like, they're saying he's linked to the person who carried out an attack that killed three Americans, two of whom were military, back in December in Syria. I'm not really sure what to make of it, but I guess that's some pretty serious stuff. I mean, I've got trouble keeping track of my own family members, let alone some guy in Syria. But hey, I guess that's why I'm not in the army, right?

2026-01-18 05:01

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Ukrainian intelligence warns of attacks on nuclear power plant substations

I saw this thing about what's going on over there, in Ukraine. It said they're trying to fix the heat in a hundred apartment buildings, but then somebody keeps messing with the substations that power everything. And the reason, apparently, is to get them to surrender. I don't know about you, but that seems like a really strange strategy. If you turn off my heat, I just get mad. I don't give up. I just put on three more sweaters and complain about it. I'm not capitulating over cold air. It’s just, like, a bad way to negotiate, right? You're not going to win a fight by turning off the Wi-Fi. It just makes people want to fight more.

2026-01-18 00:31

Thousands of protesters from Nuuk to Copenhagen to say: Not touch Greenland, Trump

They said Donald Trump wanted to buy Greenland. And I don't know... I looked at a map. It looks really cold. It seems like a lot of upkeep. You know, a lot of people in Greenland and Denmark were protesting. And I'm just thinking... you gotta really believe in something to protest when it’s that cold. That seems like a lot of trouble. I mean, I don't want to buy Greenland, but I also don't want to march around in that weather. I'll pass on both of those.

2026-01-17 22:34

Gaza: Israel rejects the composition of the peace council, created under the aegis of Donald Trump, Egypt, Qatar and Turkey

I read this thing where an announcement was made, and then the office of the guy who’s supposed to be in charge of that stuff—Benny? Benyamin? —they came out and said, “We didn’t know anything about that announcement. It goes against our policy.” So, they’re basically finding out about their own policy when everybody else does. It's like somebody sent out an invite for your surprise party, and you find out when the first guest shows up. You go, “Wait, what are we doing here?”

2026-01-17 22:02

In Greenland and Denmark, protests to denounce Donald Trump's project of annexing the Arctic island

Nuuk, Greenland. Thousands of people gathered there. That’s a lot of people for Greenland, right? I don’t know. I guess it's just one of those things where you have to wonder what they’re all doing. It’s just
 a lot of people. In Greenland. I hope they brought a jacket.

2026-01-17 20:07

LIVE, war in Ukraine: over a hundred households still without heating in Kiev; Ukrainian intelligence warns of attacks on nuclear power plant substations

I guess the plan is just to make everybody cold enough that they give up. It’s a new strategy. I mean, I’ve had a heating bill before that made me want to give up, but this is different. This is *intentional*. They’re going after the substations, just to turn off the heat and the power. It’s like they’re saying, "Look, we’re gonna attack you until you lose. Or, we’re gonna turn off the heat until you just go, 'Man, I just gotta go inside.'" It’s just
 it feels very passive aggressive for an invasion. "We’re not fighting anymore. We’re just turning off your electricity until you apologize."

2026-01-17 20:06

Signing of the EU-Mercosur agreement: story of a suspense that lasted a quarter century

So, Ursula von der Leyen, she’s signing something. She’s signing a trade deal. And they’ve been working on this thing since 1999. Think about that. 1999. That’s a long time to be negotiating a trade deal. That’s like, high school. They started this thing before Y2K. Before we knew if all the computers were just going to shut down. They thought, “We better hurry up and figure out this trade stuff before everything goes dark.” And then it didn’t go dark. And they were still in the meeting. I guess it was a "long affair," which sounds like something you probably should've ended a long time ago. I don't know why trade deals have so much "passion and opposition." It's just stuff. We're just trying to figure out how to get stuff back and forth. You know, like, "We'll take your stuff. You take our stuff." Why are people yelling?

2026-01-17 20:06

In Montreal, the presence of a robin from Europe astonishes and draws crowds

I guess there’s this bird. It lives in Europe. Real common over there. But somehow, it ended up in America. I mean, that’s quite a mistake, right? That’s not like taking a wrong turn in the neighborhood. That’s a whole ocean. They’re trying to figure out how it got here. Like, did it fly the whole way? Or did it sneak onto a boat and not tell anybody? I don't know why we're so confused about it. The bird clearly knows what happened. It’s just not talking.

2026-01-17 18:37

In Indonesia, a plane carrying ten people disappeared from radar in the east of the country

They lost contact with something. I hate when that happens. I lose my phone constantly, and I’m just like, “Where did it go?” But this thing, it was a big deal. It lost contact around 1 p.m. I always think about that time of day, 1 p.m. Everybody’s probably finishing lunch, maybe a little sleepy, and then suddenly, "We lost contact with the thing." Now they’ve got teams looking for it. Plural. Teams. They got the air force out there. They got the police out there. And then, just to round out the group, they got volunteers. I always wonder about the volunteers. Like, what do they bring to the table that the air force and the police don't have? A good attitude? A thermos full of coffee? It's like when you lose your keys in the house, and your spouse starts looking, and then your kid starts looking, and then your neighbor comes over and says, "I'll help, too," and you're thinking, "Why are you here, sir?" Seems like we're doing a lot here. Just to find the thing we lost at 1 p.m. I guess that’s how you know something is really gone. When you’ve got that much enthusiasm, you know it's not going to be in the last place you looked.

2026-01-17 17:02

Cuba pays tribute to its military killed in Venezuela in the American attack on Nicolas Maduro

I saw a thing where 32 soldiers were killed in Caracas. And then people from Cuba came over for the ceremonies. I don’t know. I guess I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of that. Like, were they busy? Or did they just happen to be in the area? You just assume if you have 32 people, it’s going to be a pretty full house already. And then you add... I don't know, a busload of Cubans? It just feels like a lot of travel for a funeral. I hope they were able to get decent flights.

2026-01-17 16:32

In Argentina, the massive job losses in the local industry could be exacerbated by the EU-Mercosur agreement

I read something interesting. They said in this one country, in two years, they lost 280,000 jobs. That's a lot of people. That's almost three hundred thousand jobs gone. But then they said, in that same amount of time, the economy grew by four percent. Four percent. So you lose a quarter million jobs, and everything is doing great. I don't know how you win that math problem. It's like if you broke your arm, but then your other arm suddenly got stronger because you started doing pull-ups in the dark. It's confusing. I don't know if I like it.

2026-01-17 16:05

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Ukrainian negotiators have arrived in Miami for talks with Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner

I saw where they’re trying to negotiate peace over there in Ukraine. They’re talking to this emissary guy and
 the son-in-law. I don't know what an emissary does, but "son-in-law" is a weird job title for ending a war. It’s hard to figure out who's in charge. And while they’re trying to negotiate, the other side just kept hitting the energy plants all night. It’s hard to make progress when you're talking about peace with a guy who’s currently in the parking lot letting the air out of your tires.

2026-01-17 15:32

LIVE, Greenland: in Copenhagen, thousands of protesters show their support

I don't know, man. I read this thing, and I guess people in Denmark and Greenland are having protests. Because our president wants to buy Greenland. And they’re protesting in Nuuk. Nuuk. I don't know how you protest something like that. "Don't buy us. We're not for sale." It just feels like a lot of trouble. I don't know why we need another country. We can barely keep track of the ones we have now. It's just strange to want to buy a whole country. We have enough stuff. We really don't need to add Greenland to the cart.

2026-01-17 15:04

How Chinese tech is reinventing the electric car

They keep saying everything’s changing. Now you got these new electric car companies, right? Like XPeng, Nio. Xiaomi. And they’re not just making cars. The car is like... software now. The car and the AI, it's all developing together. They keep updating them. Like, constantly. So I guess my car is going to ask me to update in the middle of traffic. “Do not turn off your vehicle.” What if I want to go somewhere?

2026-01-17 14:38

Iran: Ayatollah Ali Khamenei accuses Donald Trump of being guilty of the victims of the protests and denounces an American plot

I saw something about this the other day, and I don't know. We told them, "Look, if you do this one thing, there are going to be some serious consequences." We put our foot down, right? Then they didn't do it. So we immediately thanked them. It's a weird interaction. It just feels backwards. I don't know if you're supposed to thank somebody for not doing the bad thing that you told them not to do. It's like telling your kid, "If you don't clean your room, you're in trouble." Then they clean the room. You don't say, "Thank you for cleaning the room that I told you to clean, or else." You just
 move on. We're in a tough spot. We're either threatening or we're thanking. It's hard to be a person sometimes.

2026-01-17 14:04

In Georgia, the ruling party files suit against the BBC

I saw a report. This British channel came out with a story. I don't know what the meeting was like. The authorities in Georgia—the country, not the state—were apparently using toxic gas to deal with these protests. Which, you know, is already a thing. But then you read the details, and they were using gas from World War I. World War I. I mean, I just picture them going through a closet somewhere, and they're like, "We gotta stop these people." And somebody says, "Well, we found this stuff in the back. It says 1917 on the container." And everybody else goes, "Perfect." That’s wild. That’s like using a horse and buggy to go to the grocery store. I don't know. That’s a choice.

2026-01-17 13:31

Gaza: first nominations to head the gasworks that will govern the enclave

So they're starting "Phase 2" of a peace process. And they went ahead and announced that the process is already fragile. If you’re starting Phase 2, shouldn't Phase 1 have been
 sturdy? You don't usually start Phase 2 of anything by saying, "This whole thing is just barely hanging on, but we're moving forward." That sounds like we just opened up Phase 2 of whatever Phase 1 already failed at.

2026-01-17 11:35

The terror, ultimate driver of the Iranian regime

I don't know. It sounds like a car spinning its tires in the mud. Like, you got stuck, and you're just burning rubber, and everybody's looking at you. And then in 2025, it sounds like somebody tried to get out of the mud, but just tore up the whole yard. It's a lot of spinning and a lot of mud. I don't think you want to be near that car.

2026-01-17 11:35

LIVE, Greenland: protests against Donald Trump's territorial ambitions expected in Copenhagen and Nuuk

So they’re having protests over there in Denmark. And Greenland. Because the president keeps saying he wants to buy Greenland. He just keeps bringing it up. And people are protesting that. It’s just
 I didn’t know that was on the list of things you could buy. You know? I mean, I didn't know they put countries up for sale. It's like, "What’s on sale this week?" "A new car, some cheese, and
 Greenland." It just feels like a lot. To buy a whole country. I don't know where you would even put the receipt.

2026-01-17 10:41

Syria: Al-Charaa seals a compromise with the Kurds to retake Deir Hafer

I saw this thing where there’s a negotiation, and the FDS—I guess that’s a group—they had to leave this piece of land they got. They were west of the Euphrates River, which... I don't know where that is. But they left because of negotiations, and then the Syrian president signed a piece of paper. Now, because of that paper, this other group, the Kurds, have "national rights." It seems like you could have just started with the paper. Just pass the paper around. You could probably get a lot done. Just hand out rights instead of negotiating over a river.

2026-01-17 10:40

LIVE, war in Ukraine: Russian army continues attacks on energy infrastructure; US and Ukrainian negotiators to meet today

Well, they announced some new talks to end the conflict, I guess. Which sounds good, right? But then they also mentioned that overnight, they shot down 96 drones. Ninety-six. I don’t know how you schedule a meeting to end something when you’re shooting down 96 things at night. It feels like maybe you gotta finish dealing with the 96 drones *first*, then schedule the talks. Otherwise, you’re just gonna have to keep rescheduling.

2026-01-17 09:38

Video. Venezuela: why the United States needs heavy oil

I was reading something the other day, and it got me confused. We are, like, the world's leading producer of crude oil. Number one. Which sounds great, right? You think, "We got it figured out." But we still import oil. We bring in oil from other places. And it just seems like if you're number one at something, you don't really need to borrow from the neighbors. It’s like we have all this oil in the pantry, but we’re looking at it and saying, “No, no, we need *that* kind of oil. Not the one we make here. The other kind.” It just feels like we're number one at something, but we need to import a different grade. Like getting an A, but you need to import a different A. I don’t know. It seems like we should just make the A-plus oil and call it a day.

2026-01-17 09:38

The Syrian army announces controlling the town of Deir Hafer, east of Aleppo, after the Kurds withdrew

So I guess I was reading about Aleppo. And there were some folks fighting over a place. Fighting really hard. And then, at the end of all the fighting, they just got dislodged from the place they were fighting over. Seems like a lot of trouble just to end up somewhere else anyway. I don't know what the strategy was.

2026-01-17 09:37

In Greenland, the Trump method has turned the population against the United States

You know, I was talking to my buddy the other day, and he told me about this thing where the President of the United States was kinda, sorta threatening to take over this island where the Inuit people live. And I'm thinking, 'Wait, what? That's a thing?' So, the people who live on this island, they're all getting together in their capital city, Nuuk, to... I don't know, protest or something. And I'm over here thinking, 'I've never even heard of Nuuk, but I guess it's a real place.' It's weird, because I feel like just a little while ago, everybody wanted to come to America, you know? It was like the coolest thing ever. But now, it's like, 'Uh, no thanks, we're good.' I guess that whole 'American Dream' thing isn't as dreamy as it used to be.

2026-01-17 07:08

Minneapolis, new epicenter of revolt against Donald Trump: ICE did not expect this

You know, I was reading about this thing in Minnesota, and I'm not really sure what's going on. Apparently, they've got 2,000 immigration agents just kind of... hanging out. It's called "Metro Surge," which sounds like a new energy drink. But I guess it's been a few weeks, and people are getting a little testy. There was a lady named Renee Good who passed away on January 7th, and now everyone's on edge. I'm not really sure what's happening, but it seems like a big deal. I mean, 2,000 agents is a lot of people. That's like, a small town. I'm just wondering, what are they all doing there? Are they, like, having a convention or something?

2026-01-17 07:08

In Chad, seven soldiers were killed at the border with Sudan by Sudanese paramilitaries

You know, I was reading about this thing that happened in Chad, and I'm not really sure what's going on. Apparently, their army got into a fight with some other group called the Rapid Support Forces. And now people are worried that the conflict in Sudan is gonna spill over into neighboring countries. Which, I mean, that's not great. Two Chadian soldiers died in a drone attack on December 26th, which is just a real bummer. I don't know, it's all just kinda confusing to me. I'm no expert, but it seems like the more I learn about it, the less I understand.

2026-01-17 06:36

In Venezuela, Alex Saab, a minister close to Nicolas Maduro, fired

You know, I was reading about this guy Delcy Rodriguez, and apparently, she's thanking some minister of industry fella. Now, I'm not really sure what's going on, but it seems like this minister was in the States for a bit, from 2021 to 2023. I think he was, uh, visiting or something. Anyway, he got sent back to Venezuela, and then they did some kind of trade, like a prisoner swap. It's all pretty confusing to me, but hey, I guess that's just international politics, right?

2026-01-17 04:01

Young Africa banned in Mali for glorifying terrorism and defamation

So, there's a country with a fuel crisis. And a magazine wrote an article about how they're handling it. The authorities, instead of fixing the fuel crisis, banned the magazine. I don't know. That seems backward. You'd think if someone writes about a problem, you just fix the problem. But now they still have the fuel crisis, *and* they have a magazine crisis. It’s like they’re trying to put out a fire by banning the guy who pointed it out.

2026-01-17 03:01

Gaza: Tony Blair, Marco Rubio, Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff among the seven members of the peace council revealed by Donald Trump

I don't know, man. They’re setting up this council over in the Middle East. It’s supposed to oversee the Gaza thing. And I read about who’s on it. It’s almost all Americans. Just one guy isn't American, and he’s from Britain. It just seems like a lot of Americans to have on a committee about something that far away. If you’re trying to figure out how to run a grocery store, you don’t put everyone on the board from a different state. And they’re calling it "Phase Two of the Trump Plan." I don't know if you want to be "Phase Two" of anything. Phase One usually had problems. Like, "Phase Two of this diet." That means Phase One involved eating a lot of cheese.

2026-01-17 01:33

The US aviation authority warns of military activities over Mexico and Central America

Vous savez, j'ai lu quelque chose à propos de la FAA qui parle de zones aériennes dangereuses au Mexique, en Amérique centrale, au Panama, à Bogota, à Guayaquil et à Mazatlan, ainsi que dans l'espace aérien de l'Est de l'océan Pacifique. Et je me demande, comment font-ils pour savoir exactement quels endroits sont dangereux ? Est-ce qu'ils ont une sorte de carte avec des zones colorées en rouge ? 'Attention, ne volez pas ici' ? C'est un peu comme quand je conduis et que mon GPS me dit d'éviter certaines routes, mais je ne sais jamais pourquoi. 'Prenez la prochaine à gauche... non, attendez, ne le faites pas.' Je suppose que c'est pareil pour les pilotes, mais avec plus de vies en jeu. Et je me demande, qui décide de ces zones dangereuses ? Un comité de personnes qui se disent : 'Vous savez quoi, il y a trop de turbulence au-dessus de Mazatlan' ? C'est juste étrange.

2026-01-17 01:01

7-October: Hachette recalls a dictionary that referred to the victims as Jewish settlers and announces a thorough review of its textbooks

You know, I was reading about these three books that got recalled, and I'm thinking, what's going on here. Apparently, they all said the same thing, and now they're gone. I mean, I've had days where I've repeated myself, but I didn't get recalled. That's just a Tuesday for me. And it was all because of some group called Licra, which, honestly, sounds like a made-up word. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on, and now I've got more questions than answers. Like, who recalls books? Is that a real job? 'Book Recaller' - that's a title I'd like to see on a business card.

2026-01-17 00:33

Lula and Ursula von der Leyen celebrate with 24 hours advance the EU-Mercosur agreement, priority of Brazilian president

I read about this. There’s a leader from Europe and the leader from Brazil. They really had to meet. But there was a signing happening in Paraguay on Saturday, and one of them couldn't be there. So they decided to meet on Friday instead. They met in Rio de Janeiro. Which is in Brazil. So they met in Brazil on Friday for a meeting that was happening in Paraguay on Saturday, that one of them couldn't go to. It feels like if you're already flying to Brazil on Friday, you could probably just go to Paraguay on Saturday. You’re almost there. It’s right next door. Just go. It seems like more work to avoid it.

2026-01-17 00:01