Headlines Served With Humor You Didn’t Know You Needed

"Daily news retold with gentle confusion, clean humor, and everyday absurdity that makes reality surprisingly funny."

How researchers managed to get AI to cite copyrighted books

I guess a lot of people are finding out that AI doesn't just learn a lesson from the data. It's actually remembering everything. Every single thing they gave it. Which seems like a bad way to train something. You know, like when you’re studying for a test and you just memorize the whole chapter instead of understanding it. And now they’re saying this is going to be a problem in court. So, the computer has too much information, and now we gotta get a lawyer involved. It’s just... a lot of work.

2026-01-22 20:33

Ubisoft: behind the announcements of radical overhaul, years of crisis

I guess this big video game company announced they were reorganizing. Which, when you look at it, involved them canceling all their projects and shutting down all their studios. I always thought "reorganizing" meant you were just putting things in a different order. Like moving the sofa over there, and the lamp over here. Not just throwing out the sofa and the lamp. But they put "for now" on the end. Which makes me think they're pretty sure the problems are done, but maybe they aren't totally sure. It's like finishing a really long movie and then finding out there's a sequel.

2026-01-22 17:40

The government has not given up on accessing the content of discussions on encrypted messaging

I don't know what "encrypted" means, exactly. But I think it's a code word for "messages I don't want you to read." So, the government over there is looking into how they can read those messages anyway. They said it would be "under certain conditions." I hope those conditions aren't something simple, because I'm not sure if I want the government knowing I just texted my wife about buying milk. What if they think I'm lying about being out of milk? I just feel like this whole thing could get complicated.

2026-01-22 09:35

Crisis at Ubisoft: six video games canceled, studio closures and a restructuring underway

You know, I was reading about this big video game company in France, and apparently, they've been having a tough time for a while now. So, they're like, 'You know what? Let's just change everything.' I mean, that's basically what I do when my closet gets messy, but I don't think I'd spend a billion euros to do it. That's just crazy. A billion euros, that's like... I don't even know what that is. Is that like, a thousand million dollars or something? Yeah, that sounds about right. Anyway, so they're gonna lose all this money, but hey, maybe it'll work out for them. I mean, have you ever had a bad haircut, and then you're like, 'You know what, I'm just gonna shave it all off'? That's kinda what they're doing, but with their whole company.

2026-01-21 21:34

Jail time required after cyberbullying of a teacher

I don't understand how people... I mean, look at this. Six people went to court. Because they sent hateful messages to a teacher. A teacher. Why? Because the teacher organized a project on migrants. I mean, think about the process. You’re sitting there, on your couch probably, and you see this story about a teacher, and you just get so worked up about a school project, you think, "I gotta stop this right now." So you send hateful messages. And then you have to go to court and explain why you were so mad about a project on migrants. It just seems like a lot of energy. A lot of energy to put into something that probably wasn’t even going to affect you.

2026-01-21 10:07

AI can help make its choices on Parcoursup, Someone who looks you in the eye is irreplaceable

I heard AI can help high schoolers figure out what to do next. Which is good, I guess. I mean, they got so many options now. But I read that you still gotta know how to "manier" the AI. And you need a support system for it. So now the support system needs support. It seems like we’re just making the problem bigger. I don't know, maybe the AI just needs a guidance counselor, too.

2026-01-21 09:34

In companies, the integration of artificial intelligence is done at a varying rate

You know, I was at this thing the other day, and I saw some companies talking about AI. And I'm thinking, what's the plan here? Some of them are like, "Hey, let's just use it to help out with a few jobs in our small business." And then you got these other companies that are like, "No, no, no, we're gonna change everything. We're gonna be like the AI company or something." I don't know, it just seems like they're all doing their own thing. Like, are we just making this up as we go along?

2026-01-21 06:46

Jeannette of FĂŒrstenberg, the tech investor who believes in a European Renaissance

You know, I was reading about this German noble person the other day, and I'm thinking, what's the deal with nobles investing in AI startups? Like, aren't they supposed to be, I don't know, noble-ing or something? But no, this one's out here putting money into Mistral AI and Helsing. Apparently, she's kind of a big deal in European tech, which is weird because I'd never heard of her. I mean, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure I could be influential in the tech scene if I just wore a fancy hat and said 'ja' a lot.

2026-01-20 06:06

Municipal elections, possible targets of foreign interference

You know, I was thinking, local elections, they're like the quiet cousin of politics. Nobody really pays attention, but they can still get pretty wild. I mean, we're not talking international spy level stuff, but you'd be surprised what kind of shenanigans can go down at the local level. It's like, who's trying to cheat in a game of bingo, you know? But hey, I guess when it's your neighbor trying to become the mayor of your small town, things can get pretty heated.

2026-01-20 05:38

Unauthorized access to Urssaf data: 12 million employees potentially affected

So they lost 12 million people. Not lost. But... potentially extracted. I don't know what potentially extracted means. Sounds like they got all the names, all the birthdays, all the hiring dates. Now here's the thing: Urssaf says, "Be careful about phishing." I mean, if you just lost all my information, what am I watching out for? The guy on the phone just calls me up and goes, "Hey, it's me. I got your name from Urssaf. Your birthday is on [date]." I don't even know what to do at that point. You just give it to them. You're like, "Yeah, that's right. You got me."

2026-01-19 20:08

A portion of Gen Z seeking digital detox: I felt bad after each use, quitting relieved me of a huge burden

I keep hearing people talk about “digital detox.” We built these phones. We bought them. We wanted them to be exactly what they are. Now people are saying, "I'm deleting social media for a week," or "I'm limiting my screen time." Like we're fighting against a thing we paid for. It's just strange, isn't it? It’s like buying a brand new car, driving it off the lot, and then immediately deciding you need to keep it in the garage as much as possible. We wanted this technology, and now we're building strategies just to *not* use it. Seems like we're just trying to outsmart ourselves.

2026-01-18 17:33

Hooked on social media and the desire to be on it, the line has become desirable

I don't know when this started, but now people wait in line for everything. I mean, people are waiting in line for a specific type of coffee. Or a specific pastry. It’s not even like they're giving away free money. They're just waiting for... a dessert. And social media, it just makes everybody go to the exact same place at the exact same time. It's just a lot of people trying to get a picture of the same croissant. We're just clogging up the space for a little baked good. I don't know how we all decided that this was the thing to do, but we’re all doing it. We're just waiting for sugar. It's weird.

2026-01-18 06:05

We tested
 agent browsers that surf the Web for us

You know they’re always talking about AI now, right? They put it in everything. They put it in these web browsers, these things that are supposed to be better than Chrome. And they tell you, "This AI browser will change your life. It'll shop for you. It knows what you want. It'll find a hotel for you." But then you look at the hotel it picked. And it’s like... "Wait a minute. I don't want to stay in a place that looks like a haunted library." So they keep making all these big promises about AI, but then nobody actually uses the new stuff. And I'm just sitting here thinking, "Why are we even trying to fix something that wasn't broken in the first place?"

2026-01-17 20:35

Jean Pisani-Ferry, economist: Does AI fuel new growth or a bubble

I heard these two Nobel guys are arguing about AI, right? And when Nobel guys argue, I just assume we’re all supposed to be a little scared. Because if *they* don’t know, then *I* definitely don't know. But then they said all these investments going into it are risky. And that Europe’s savings are exposed to that risk. And I just thought, wait, my savings account? I put that money in the bank. I didn't check a box that said, "Yes, please expose my money to potential AI-related issues." I thought it was just going to sit there until I bought a new refrigerator. I don't know how AI found my savings account. I didn't tell anybody.

2026-01-17 12:35

Joelle Pineau, of Cohere: We aim for an AI that creates value for businesses, rather than a superintelligence

So, there's this guy. He was the "Number Two" guy for AI at Meta. He worked for Mark Zuckerberg. And he quit. He quit to go work at a startup in Canada. First off, "Number Two" in AI sounds like a pretty big deal. You get all the way up to "Number Two"... and then you just quit? I don't know what "Number Two" means, but it sounds like you're doing something right. Unless "Number Two" means "The Guy Right Behind Number One," and he realized he was never gonna get promoted. Maybe he just wanted to move to Canada. Maybe he just wanted to be the *Number One* guy at a Canadian startup. I guess you gotta start somewhere. Even if you're already at Number Two. It's a weird system.

2026-01-17 09:39

How to combat the rise of selfishness Najat Vallaud-Belkacem debates with sociologist Camille Peugny

You know, I was talking to this guy the other day, and he was saying how everybody's always trying to one-up each other. And I'm thinking, 'Wait a minute, aren't we all just trying to figure it out?' I mean, some people are like, 'I'm a go-getter, I'm a self-starter,' and then you got other people who are just trying to make ends meet. It's like, can't we all just take a deep breath and be like, 'You know what, I'm just gonna try to get by too'? I don't know, maybe I'm just not competitive enough, but it seems like everybody's always talking about being their own boss and being an entrepreneur. And I'm like, 'Isn't that just a fancy way of saying you're unemployed, but with more responsibility?' I mean, I'm not saying it's bad or anything, it's just... have you ever tried to be your own boss? It's like, you're the boss, but you're also the employee, and the employee is always slacking off. It's a real challenge, let me tell you. Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, I don't know how to combat all these competitive vibes, but maybe we can just all agree to be a little less intense, you know? Like, let's just take it easy, and see if we can't all just get along... or at least, not try to outdo each other all the time. That sounds like a pretty good plan to me.

2026-01-17 07:08

Welcome to the era of consumerist trance: cookie cake, mini-Labubu and shoe charms

I don't know what happened, but it feels like buying things is different now. It used to be you just bought stuff. Now, it seems like everybody's buying stuff because everybody else is buying stuff. You see people getting this little plastic guy, you know? Or everybody runs out to get this specific container of rice and chicken. The rice and chicken don't look all that special, probably tastes just like regular rice and chicken. The point isn't even the thing itself. The whole point is just to be able to say, "I got one." We're buying stuff just to prove we're involved in the transaction.

2026-01-17 05:32